tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post647135575004572688..comments2024-01-21T09:23:22.984-08:00Comments on The Girlfriend Fastlane Blog - Jake Payton: Q & A on FlakingJake P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-52582037385008381682012-05-05T18:48:40.293-07:002012-05-05T18:48:40.293-07:00Bravo. Bravo, sir.
I love that you take the time...Bravo. Bravo, sir.<br /><br /> I love that you take the time to answer all your comments. Amazing blog.Kylenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-36536616183061325732012-04-17T12:36:28.499-07:002012-04-17T12:36:28.499-07:00When you add it up, I think this girl really likes...When you add it up, I think this girl really likes you and does want to hang out, just in this instance she believes she's got something more fun for the two of you than what you had already planned. Yes she's acting on her emotion in the moment and probably wants to have her friends assess you too, but this is a pretty normal thing for girls to do. In other words, I don't agree with you that her excuse is total bullshit, and I think in this case if you wanna be like "fuck you" then it would be a bitter and somewhat childish action to take. <br /><br />It might suck to hear all this, but in the end this girl is majorly supplicating to you already by explaining herself and communicating with you when she saw that you were upset. I really can't fault her for her actions. Though they are definitely the type of unexpected things that women do, they are pretty normal. <br /><br />So my advice to you is to try and be a little more flexible. This girl did fuck you and is trying to hangout with you, so even though it's annoying, it's not flaking. Also, remember if you don't wanna do what the chick wants to do, you don't have to, just find a smart way to tell her no. Whatever you do, don't show your anger through a bitter text, because many girls won't stick around when a guy acts that way. Shit, play some volleyball every now and then and this chick'll probably fuck you for a long long time.Jake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-11666016398299647422012-04-17T12:36:17.269-07:002012-04-17T12:36:17.269-07:00So let me make sure i've got this straight. Y...So let me make sure i've got this straight. You slept with this girl once and you're trying to meet up and possibly go for round two. You've got plans to hang at 7:30 and you text her at 5pm to kinda verify things cause she's flaky. She's cool with hanging out then decides to change the plans up a bit. <br /><br />Here's what i'd do. First off, if you're meeting at 730pm i'd probably shoot her a text at like 545 saying "Jumping in the shower, see you in a bit ;)" This'll let her know that you're already committed to hanging out with her. Sounds like you did something like this, so good work. <br /><br />Next thing that happens is she texts you "wanna get your vball on." Let's think about her situation. Here she's being pretty enthusiastic about playing some volleyball. From that i'd guess she's likely in some type of league or something or at least plays volleyball somewhat on the regular, i'd guess with friends and for fun. Two people just don't play volleyball with each other, so it's pretty obvious that her friends have asked her to join a group of people who are already going to play. There's also likely going to be a dude or two there also because she wouldn't just invite you to an all girls thing in the beginning stages of dating. <br /><br />So this girl sleeps with you and then is inviting you to a group event with her friends and likely one or more of the guys her friends are sleeping with. Sounds to me like she wants to implement you into her social circle. Pretty reasonable thing, i'd say. <br /><br />The part I think you're missing is that this girl has kind of already decided in her mind that volleyball is her best social option for the night. She's likely not trying to play some type of game with you, it's just that in her world it's pretty normal for a guy she dates to do a group-type activity like this, and if you go she'll also be able to get her friend's opinions of you in the process. My recommendation would be flexible and open to the idea of doing something like this, and when you go and have fun, you'll likely end up getting laid afterwards. What's so bad about this? <br /><br />Okay, so I get it. You wanna fuck her, it sucks that she changed shit up, and maybe you just really don't wanna play some gay ass volleyball. That's okay too. I'd just tell her something to the effect of "Wow that sounds super fun, but I killed myself in the gym today so i'm not sure i'm up for it. How bout I take a raincheck and we'll just hang soon." Here you're empathizing with her and offering her a "legit" excuse for not wanting to go with so that she doesn't feel guilty about breaking plans. Also, you look very non-needy, so when you pair that with "hang soon" she'll gently be drawn towards you and wonder when she'll get to hangout with you again. She'll also feel a bit of loss that she didn't get to hangout with you and on some level she'll feel responsible for it. Responsible, not guilty. That's important. <br /><br />All this make sense? Now let's move on to your texting. <br /><br />Your text "listen, it's whatever..." is super bitter. You say it's no big deal in your text, but in reality you're lacing what you say with heavy heavy meaning. This type of action is completely transparent to a girl and quite frankly makes you look very childish. You can be smarter about how you handle this in the future so that you don't lose girls unnecessarily, but this time it kinda worked and she understood you were upset.<br /><br />If we look at her text to you after this, she tries to communicate with you because she understands how you're feeling. She's like "Hey I get it that you think i'm flaking because what's happened in the past with me would indicate that, but I really wanna do this thing so I think it's a great solution that we both go and to it."Jake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-10647552863512983152012-04-17T09:32:29.347-07:002012-04-17T09:32:29.347-07:00BACKGROUND: I've already fucked her, but she i...BACKGROUND: I've already fucked her, but she is a highly unstable, socially competent girl who is ADD and can get pretty flaky from time to time. I double-flake reversal-ed her once, which worked perfectly, then the next time she flaked, I somehow ran into her at a place, took her home and fucked her that night. I live in a somewhat small town so this type of thing is not unusual. I ran into her Saturday night and made plans to meet up last night at her place at 7:30. Texted her around 5 just to check in because like I said, pretty flaky behavior. She responded promptly and it was all good. 30 minutes later, she texts me this. <br /><br />Her: Wanna get your vball on?<br /><br />Clearly she's trying to switch up the plan where we would be with her friends, but I have no patience for this stuff since I made plans with another girl just in case this one did what I was expecting her to do.<br /><br />So basically I expressed that I did not want to do this, but if she wanted to it would be no big deal. Then my plan would be to ignore her for a while until she realizes that she fucked up and started chasing me like crazy. So you said your filter would be "What's her situation?" "Is it valid?" If these answers are no, then just be like "fuck you." Which is exactly what I intended to convey through my actions. Then Jake mentioned that he would ignore the girl until she supplicated, and this is where the confusion lies for me because of this text.<br /><br />Me: "Listen it's whatever. I figured it'd be cool to chill tonight, but if you want to go play volleball, do your thing. It's really no big deal to me."<br /><br />Her: "I've legit dipped out on you before and I'm not trying to be like that so I'd understand if you were just like whatever, nothing new. But legit I'm not trying to be like that. I just want to be outside for a bit."<br /><br />My problem is that her excuse is total bullshit, I don't like it, and I just want to be like fuck you. But she's trying to supplicate. In the end, I chose to dead air her. I intend to continue to do so until she's chasing me like crazy. Anyone have any thoughts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-89086549368968458042012-04-04T14:39:41.486-07:002012-04-04T14:39:41.486-07:00Glad you like the post man. Unfortunately like I ...Glad you like the post man. Unfortunately like I said this is only a sneak peak into what it's like living in the mansion and having us personally work on your game every week. You don't have to live in Hollywood in the mansion to get this type of training though! You can always take a public workshop or a 1-on-1 training and we'd be glad to take a look at you.Jake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-13106703443608848462012-04-04T11:32:27.594-07:002012-04-04T11:32:27.594-07:00This stuff is really golden, thanks for sharing Ja...This stuff is really golden, thanks for sharing Jake. It helps a lot to see the mentality of a coach and how they think through these scenarios.<br /><br />Perhaps it could become a regular thing to publish audio of the sessions with the pickup mansion guys, maybe for 30/30 members? We can't all afford to go live in Hollywood but I'm sure there are many people who would extract a lot of value from these seminars.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05940025598386982165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-9078040364403938702012-04-03T09:13:52.958-07:002012-04-03T09:13:52.958-07:00Glad to help manGlad to help manJake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-39630829314918232932012-04-03T09:13:00.307-07:002012-04-03T09:13:00.307-07:00This is pretty normal girl behavior. Often they w...This is pretty normal girl behavior. Often they want a safety net guy for if they breakup with the guy they're with. Other times girls will next a guy for temporary exclusivity with another guy, then after that relationship they're back. I've got a number of girls who call/text me once a month even though they're in relationships. When they breakup then they call and schedule a meetup, we'll have sex, and then they don't feel as bad about their breakup.Jake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-87511717384550316002012-04-01T12:58:07.679-07:002012-04-01T12:58:07.679-07:00Useful advice in here, thanksUseful advice in here, thanksQTEnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-52693740602000520862012-03-31T08:16:01.393-07:002012-03-31T08:16:01.393-07:00Great read. I dead air this girl (ex-girlfriend) f...Great read. I dead air this girl (ex-girlfriend) for months and she always comes back to me... despite the fact that she has a boyfriend.<br /><br />She says she's happy and in love with him. What's going on here?30/30 username: Irvinghttp://www.twitter.com/Irv14941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-51524449524337054062012-03-30T14:41:27.426-07:002012-03-30T14:41:27.426-07:00I'm not sure that girls do or don't view i...I'm not sure that girls do or don't view it as trying too hard, it's just simply not something that cool guys say. The idea isn't to avoid acting low value or try-hard, it's to act like the highest value guys act. <br /><br />As far as your second comment about the immediate reschedule, it's not that cut and dry. I go decision by decision, weighing all factors involved.Jake P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10072931865569525339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515866518091314074.post-81488394831931854712012-03-28T17:29:46.706-07:002012-03-28T17:29:46.706-07:00Yeah I used to do the cool point thing myself but ...Yeah I used to do the cool point thing myself but it had a low success rate. I think most girls view it as trying too hard to project value; when it does work it seems to be only on girls who aren't very bright, or else just like guys who are complete assholes. Seems better to express approval/disapproval without putting some weird label on it. <br /><br />So you go for an immediate reschedule if it's only the first offense and/or she has a good excuse, is that what I'm hearing?Captain Cavemannoreply@blogger.com