A wise man once told me that the secret to success it to "Figure out the price you have to pay to get successful... and pay it." What i've learned is that the price of success is often a huge amount of failure. Not-so-surprisingly, many successful people share this view that success often comes from the courage to fail over and over.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
21 New Catch Phrases
On my phone I keep a notepad file where I write out any catch or quippy phrases I hear or come up with so that I can reread them from time to time and implement them into conversation to see if they'll be productive for me. Today I thought i'd write out some of the ones in my phone to share them with you guys. These aren't fully tested, I just wanted to give you an idea of how i'll come up with new material. I'll hear something like the phrases below and start saying them in-field and after a bit of massaging, some of them end up as routines and some i'll just throw away. Feel free to comment any of your own if you want to. Hope you like'em!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A Woman's way of apologizing: How to deal with emotional ploys for power
Girls are wrong sometimes. Yes, guys are wrong sometimes too, but for right now that's not important. For the purposes of this article, girls are wrong. The problem is that men often don't take into account that this is even a possibility because women are insanely good at clouding men's judgement during a discussion or an argument. They often use emotional ploys that men just aren't equipt to deal with. So how can we know when to stick up for ourselves and when not to? More importantly, how do we stick up for ourselves and how can we tell when a girl knows that she's wrong and is "apologizing" so that we can stop dominating her and move on?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Insecurity
Got this message from a student today in my inbox:
Hey Jake
Just wanted to tell you i lost my virginity a few months ago!!!! (finally)... I couldnt have done it without your help in the workshop I took. Just wanted to say thanks for all the help you gave me there!
I had 2 questions that i was wondering if you could help me with...
Im in a commited relationship now with this chick who is super cool; she is going to Italy for a little over a month. I want to keep dating her after she gets back cause she is cool as hell. Im just kinda worried about her going away to italy and fucking some other guy or something. Is there anything specific i should do before she goes or while shes there to help prevent something like this?
This girl also has a profile on a dating site; she told me about it. It says she is in a relationship on her page but she says guys always tell her shes cute and stuff on there. Is this just like an ego boost for her? trying to evoke jealousy? should i tell her to take this thing down or is it probably just harmless?
My response:
There's really nothing you can do to prevent a girl from fucking some other guy. The best thing for you to do is not mention that it's on your mind AT ALL FOR ANY REASON. Remember, even though you're not a guy with an abundance of women right now, abundance mentality is still the correct attitude to have. If this girl leaves, no biggie. You can replace her. Now abundance mentality is tough to have when this is just the first girl you've slept with, but you should try and resist the urge to be jealous as best you can, because if you nurture and act on these instinctual impulsive emotions you'll end up learning the hard way that all those actions do is cause hurt in your life.
In fact, these insecure feelings and the actions we take because of them are what causes One-itis among masses of guys. A guy meets a great girl, hooks up, and shortly after realizes he doesn't want to lose the girl. Because he doesn't want to lose her, he starts doing things to make sure he keeps her. He treats her extra nicely, goes out of his way for her, and starts guarding her from other guys talking to her, etc. This needy behavior becomes apparent to the girl and any good qualities she saw about her guy are overridden by a general sense that she's too good for him. The girl knows that she's the guy's only option and it's not an attractive thing to her. It's only a matter of time before she lets the guy go, telling him "I'm just not into you anymore" and he's left to wonder WTF happened as he jerks off using his own tears as lubricant for the next 6 months.
It's super normal as a guy to feel pressure to guard and protect your investment with a girl you're really into. I promise you though, the minute you choose to act on that feeling you are setting your own breakup in motion. Better to continue to show yourself abundance through continued sarging and dating until you've realized true abundance. Also, don't kid yourself here, the reality is that this relationship won't have the Disney ending you picture in your head anyway, so don't beat yourself up when it doesn't work. Instead, enjoy the time you've got with her and you'll be able to enjoy it for the longest time possible.
While this girl's in Italy for a month, I would plan on dating and meeting other chicks, and I would even tell her that the two of you should "take a break" while she's gone to take the pressure off the both of you. What better way to show yourself abundance than to act like an man with abundance acts! Then you've got a free pass to be single for a month too! This may not sound great to you now, but talk to me when you've been in a relationship 2 years :) In addition to all of this, the fact that you tell the girl that you're taking a break while she's gone will be very attractive to her.
As far as her dating profile, i'd not even mention it. Again, it's no big deal to you. If you tell her to take it down you'll appear controlling and insecure about her. Every girl in the world seeks to attract guys through talking about all kinds of guys who want her, it's very normal. They do it because it's true, and because jealousy is a powerful motivating factor among women and men alike. In reality most girls do have several guys that want to fuck them, but she IS with you, right? Remember, you're different because you're not needy, not insecure, not jealous, and generally not a social retard, so these guys don't matter to her at all. She's simply saying that other guys like her because she wants to show you she's desireable. She wants you to like her because she likes you! Act accordingly.
Hey Jake
Just wanted to tell you i lost my virginity a few months ago!!!! (finally)... I couldnt have done it without your help in the workshop I took. Just wanted to say thanks for all the help you gave me there!
I had 2 questions that i was wondering if you could help me with...
Im in a commited relationship now with this chick who is super cool; she is going to Italy for a little over a month. I want to keep dating her after she gets back cause she is cool as hell. Im just kinda worried about her going away to italy and fucking some other guy or something. Is there anything specific i should do before she goes or while shes there to help prevent something like this?
This girl also has a profile on a dating site; she told me about it. It says she is in a relationship on her page but she says guys always tell her shes cute and stuff on there. Is this just like an ego boost for her? trying to evoke jealousy? should i tell her to take this thing down or is it probably just harmless?
My response:
There's really nothing you can do to prevent a girl from fucking some other guy. The best thing for you to do is not mention that it's on your mind AT ALL FOR ANY REASON. Remember, even though you're not a guy with an abundance of women right now, abundance mentality is still the correct attitude to have. If this girl leaves, no biggie. You can replace her. Now abundance mentality is tough to have when this is just the first girl you've slept with, but you should try and resist the urge to be jealous as best you can, because if you nurture and act on these instinctual impulsive emotions you'll end up learning the hard way that all those actions do is cause hurt in your life.
In fact, these insecure feelings and the actions we take because of them are what causes One-itis among masses of guys. A guy meets a great girl, hooks up, and shortly after realizes he doesn't want to lose the girl. Because he doesn't want to lose her, he starts doing things to make sure he keeps her. He treats her extra nicely, goes out of his way for her, and starts guarding her from other guys talking to her, etc. This needy behavior becomes apparent to the girl and any good qualities she saw about her guy are overridden by a general sense that she's too good for him. The girl knows that she's the guy's only option and it's not an attractive thing to her. It's only a matter of time before she lets the guy go, telling him "I'm just not into you anymore" and he's left to wonder WTF happened as he jerks off using his own tears as lubricant for the next 6 months.
It's super normal as a guy to feel pressure to guard and protect your investment with a girl you're really into. I promise you though, the minute you choose to act on that feeling you are setting your own breakup in motion. Better to continue to show yourself abundance through continued sarging and dating until you've realized true abundance. Also, don't kid yourself here, the reality is that this relationship won't have the Disney ending you picture in your head anyway, so don't beat yourself up when it doesn't work. Instead, enjoy the time you've got with her and you'll be able to enjoy it for the longest time possible.
While this girl's in Italy for a month, I would plan on dating and meeting other chicks, and I would even tell her that the two of you should "take a break" while she's gone to take the pressure off the both of you. What better way to show yourself abundance than to act like an man with abundance acts! Then you've got a free pass to be single for a month too! This may not sound great to you now, but talk to me when you've been in a relationship 2 years :) In addition to all of this, the fact that you tell the girl that you're taking a break while she's gone will be very attractive to her.
As far as her dating profile, i'd not even mention it. Again, it's no big deal to you. If you tell her to take it down you'll appear controlling and insecure about her. Every girl in the world seeks to attract guys through talking about all kinds of guys who want her, it's very normal. They do it because it's true, and because jealousy is a powerful motivating factor among women and men alike. In reality most girls do have several guys that want to fuck them, but she IS with you, right? Remember, you're different because you're not needy, not insecure, not jealous, and generally not a social retard, so these guys don't matter to her at all. She's simply saying that other guys like her because she wants to show you she's desireable. She wants you to like her because she likes you! Act accordingly.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Are you a hermit?
Last week I went to an old friend's place whom I hadn't seen in quite some time, and when I walked into his condo it looked horrendous. Buried in a mountain of projects, he had everything from paint cans to tarps to cardboard boxes just hanging out in his place. There was really no room for anything including furniture, of which he had none. His walls were half painted and waiting to have the edges painted, and there was no rhyme or reason to any of the madness. One of the bedrooms in his house was empty if you don't count the leftovers from roomates of years ago, and the one he stayed in was dark and disheveled.
Upon further inspection, I learned that my friend had kicked out his old roomates, pretty much given up on girls, and had traded in his dream (good job, wife, kids, etc) for projects. He now had a car he was working on, his condo still to renovate, miscellaneous carpentry projects, mountain biking projects, and a mountain of cleaning that could be done. In addition to all of this, he was working around 60 hours per week, and when I asked him why his job took more than 40 hours to complete each week he said it was because he spent most of his time on the internet at work.
When I saw all of this I knew it was almost an emergency to stop this pattern and get him on the road to being more healthy. But how can you get out of this rut?
Upon further inspection, I learned that my friend had kicked out his old roomates, pretty much given up on girls, and had traded in his dream (good job, wife, kids, etc) for projects. He now had a car he was working on, his condo still to renovate, miscellaneous carpentry projects, mountain biking projects, and a mountain of cleaning that could be done. In addition to all of this, he was working around 60 hours per week, and when I asked him why his job took more than 40 hours to complete each week he said it was because he spent most of his time on the internet at work.
When I saw all of this I knew it was almost an emergency to stop this pattern and get him on the road to being more healthy. But how can you get out of this rut?
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