What If You're Closer Than You Think?

You probably don't have a really accurate idea of how good or how bad you are with women.  If I asked you, you might readily have an idea of NOT being able to get women, but I genuinely doubt most any guy (including you) can tell how close they are to actual vaginal freedom (people say financial freedom, so figured I'd try that one on for size).  

So my question to you today is what if you're closer than you think?  What if you were just a few adjustments away from getting FAR better results with women?  You make the adjustment then immediately notice that your sets are working way better, girls are liking you more, and previous "No's" turn into "Yes's" when you ask for a number.  

How would you ever know how close you are to success beyond what you ever thought possible?  

You wouldn't.  

You might even quit.  

This past couple of weekends I did one-on-one trainings and BOTH of my clients were closer to glory than they think, so I wanna tell you about these two cases.  

First off, I want to differentiate quickly between skills and strategy.  Skills are body language, delivery, tonality, reading the women, etc. and strategy is picking the style of game you're doing (direct, indirect, social circle, warm) and inside of that strategy you might also pick further strategy.  

Are you one adjustment away?  

So first case a couple weeks ago, we'll call him Jim.  We're going out again tonight and I'm going to tell Jim about strategy because I think one adjustment could be the thing for him.  Jim is quiet and Jim is a singer songwriter.  Will he ever be a cold approach guy?  Doubtful.  So what do we do with guys like Jim?  Well, we can still work on cold approach as a method to understand and practice attraction for Jim, but wouldn't it be MUCH more effective to get Jim up on stage in front of an audience where women can see him in his element?  

Problem is Jim has no band and no audience.  

My plan with Jim is to hook him up with some musicians and use connections I've got here in Los Angeles to get him on stage on an "off" night at a bar that will still be busy.  Jim plays, women see it, the bar gets free/cheap entertainment, and then after the show Jim starts talking to women and being available socially to those who might have seen him play.  He can even "warm" approach now because he will know what women watched the show.  After all, he was looking at crowd and I'm sure musicians are aware of people in the audience.  

This one adjustment to Jim's strategy can change his life.  Instead of no band, no audience, no place to play, and no women, now it's the opposite.  A weekly gig has turned into an INCOME STREAM of new women for Jim, and ROTATIONS LOVE INCOME STREAMS OF NEW INTERACTIONS.  

Can your approaching be an income stream?  Sure

Do you work at the Verizon Wireless Store?  Doubt HR would love it, but that's an income stream too.  

What's your income stream?  If women are showing up and you're a leader somewhere, then that's yours.  The quieter you are, the more you need this income stream.  

Top of the list for income streams like this would be things like tattoo artist, musician, etc.  

Okay guy #2. 

Client #2 came last weekend and we've worked about 4-5 sessions or maybe a month on material.  He's got openers and attraction routines and he's been using them with low levels of success.  In fact, he was cool about it but my read was he was getting frustrated with the lack of success from using the material and when we talked a couple weeks before the training he asked me if I had any adjustments for him and I told him I don't make adjustments before I see him.  I don't think he liked that.  

Remember, you just can't see what you can't see.  

So night one we go out and I demo all night.  He gets to see me attract the two hottest women we talked to that night.  One was a blonde 36 year old and the other a younger (maybe 25 year old) bartender.  

His turn to approach the next couple of nights, and although he believed there was something we needed to fix about his routines, it was OBVIOUS to me that we immediately needed to work on energy calibration, positioning, and body language.  

He was getting crushed before he opened his mouth.  

So I know I said one fix and this is kind of 3 I'm listing here, but hear me out:  

Positioning:  He's static and facing the girl less than 90 degrees, and he's tall so his closeness in proximity to the girl feels like he's the boogeyman grabbing her from above, so we install the sprinkler routine. 

Energy calibration:  He's moving fast through his routine, moving his head fast, and all while the women he's talking to are calm, and this difference in "energy" is ruining his sets because women are viewing his energy as nervousness (and it might just be).  

Body Language:   He's not taking up much space, is a little hunched over, chin is down.  

Why are these one fix?  Because standing with correct posture while taking up more space in the proper position is kind of one fix.  Now he's calm, has huge presence, and can move around a bit when he needs to because he's aware of how women feel when he talks to them.    He fixes all through problems with one solid adjustment.  

This is a HUGE win for him.  I even felt just by his new posture like  and he's about to see how well his approaches go from here on out once those adjustments are solidified.  

So what if you're just one adjustment away from glory like this?  

Most guys are.  

So I'm not gonna lie to you I almost always have to see you game in person to find this stuff.  And I need to see enough sets from you that I can pick out what's happening.  I think the minimum is like 3-5 sets for me to start seeing a pattern of what's going on.  

Sometime's I can pickup some hints just from a Zoom Call.  

I can't promise you anything of course, however if you haven't had an investigation into your strategy and your game in awhile, I would be more than happy to jump on a free call with you and see if we can figure out what might be up with you.  We might just get you somewhere with no money spent (and I'm happy to do that!).  For others I can recommend a path forward.  

SETUP A FREE CALL WITH ME BY CLICKING HERE!  

Cheers and talk to you guys soon. 

4 Guys. 90 Days. 3 Women Each.

 I need 4 guys. 90 days. 3 women each.

I'm about to try something I've never done before.

I'm looking for 4 guys in Los Angeles who are willing to let me personally coach them for 90 days — and I'm going to see if I can get each of them actively dating 3 women at the same time.

Yes. Three.

I'm going to document the experiment and turn it into a YouTube series.

You'll see the guys before we start, what they're struggling with, what I change, what happens when we actually go out into the real world, the wins, the failures, the awkward moments, and where each guy ends up after 90 days.

I'm not looking for four guys who already have their shit together.

In fact, I'd prefer guys who have a genuine problem with dating right now.

Maybe you can't get dates.

Maybe you get dates but can't turn them into anything.

Maybe you're terrified of approaching women.

Maybe you've been out of the game for years.

Maybe you keep getting the same results over and over again and have no idea why.

That's exactly what I'm interested in.

The catch: this is going to require a real commitment.

You'll need to:

• Be located in the Los Angeles area
• Commit to the full 90 days
• Be willing to go out and actually do the work
• Be coachable and willing to try things outside your comfort zone
• Be willing to have your progress documented on camera
• Be comfortable with your story and the coaching process appearing on YouTube/social media
• Be available for regular coaching sessions and filming
• Be willing to invest financially in the program

I'm intentionally not putting the price in this email yet because I'm still working out the exact structure of the first group.

If you're seriously interested, email me back with:

1. Your age

2. Where you live

3. Your current dating situation

4. What you think your biggest problem with women is

5. How long you've been dealing with it

6. What you've already tried

7. What you would want to have accomplished 90 days from now

8. How much time you can realistically commit each week

9. Why you think you'd be good for this experiment

10. Whether you're comfortable being filmed and appearing publicly in the series

And most importantly:

Tell me why you want this badly enough to actually follow through.

I'm going to personally select the four guys.

This isn't going to be a dating course.

I'm not going to sit in front of a whiteboard and tell you what you're doing wrong.

We're going into the real world and finding out.

I've been a dating coach since 2007, and I've spent the better part of two decades studying attraction, dating and relationships.

Now I want to see what happens when I put everything I've learned into one experiment.

Four guys.

Ninety days.

Three women each.

Let's see what happens.

— Jake

You Can't Prepare Your Way Out Of Paying The Price

I wanted to minimize embarrassment and pain, too.  

I wanted to not have to walk up to women and get my ass handed to me.  

I thought that if I prepared enough for every possible outcome, that I could avoid pain.  

Then... 

When I started approaching, I realized that what I was experiencing was FAR different than what I had imagined.  Women said different things.  Sometimes, women were nicer.  Sometimes they were harsh out of nowhere.  

Most importantly, many of the dream negative outcomes I thought would happen never did.  

So how does this relate to you?  

Well...  

With basically every client I get, we'll get into answering questions that go something like this:

"If she does _____, then what do I do???"  

Questions in this format are great and can often lead to some specifically good preparation.  For instance, I believe a guy should know what indicators women give to show attraction or to show interest.  He should know what the stages of the interaction are, and he should be able to make some basic adjustments.  He should know what common responses and actions take place in a dominance struggle.  

But this is where our conversation always seems to go off the rails a bit.  

Sometimes I'll get a "if she does X, then what should I do" question, and my answer is simply "Well, she won't do that."  The next question is always "Yeah, but if she does though... then what do I do."  

Same answer. 

So what's going on here?   

I believe what's going on is some form of self protection mechanism.  It's like "if I can figure out everything that will possibly happen in an interaction, then maybe I can approach without experiencing pain and suffering embarrassment.  

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.  

WE CAN'T SHIELD OURSELVES FROM PAYING THE PRICE WE HAVE TO PAY TO GET GOOD AT DATING BY SOMEHOW FIGURING OUT EVERY SITUATION THAT MIGHT HAPPEN BEFORE IT EVER DOES.  

The reality is that anyone who is learning a dating skillset must go through the hard work and tough emotions associated with having bad sets and rejection.  Those tough emotions shape our character and help us grow one of the most important attributes that you'll see in any man:  A THICK SKIN.  

A thick skin is built, not bought.  You can't think it into existence.  It's ONLY the product of experience providing a mindset that failures and negative reactions from women have no bearing on your identity or value as a man.  

Need an example?  Try this one on for size:  Next time you get a blowout where you try to open and the girl basically is like "fuck off," try turning around 180 degrees from her and opening the very next girl you see with the exact same opener.  When you get a shit reaction from a woman and then the very next one loves the opener, you'll get to see right in front of your face that you and the opener were never the issue in the first place.  This is your introduction to the many lessons to be acquired from the practice of cold approach.  

I can tell you all about this like I just have, but it's entirely different when you experience it first hand.  

When YOU TAKE ACTION, your personality and character grow in a way that me telling you about my experiences can never replicate.  

One more quick example.  

I have an immersion student in Chicago, we'll call him Mike.  

Now Mike has heard the above analogy before.  He "knows" that after a blowout you should go open the next set with the same opener.  So we're walking into the club and he does his first opener, and the girl is a fucking bitch to him.  It's so jarring that to him that he gets very angry.  I think I told the girl something to the effect of fuck you don't say that to my friend, lol.  I'm calm, I've got a thick skin already, and I'm just emotionally reset in one second and ready to continue.  

I look back and I can see he's fucking flustered.  He says "What the fuck man???  What am I supposed to do now???"  I'm like go do another set, then another one, then another one, and push through.  

The reality is that when you get fucked with badly, it's very hard to regulate back to a good state.  

So I demo.  

I tell him "here's what you do."  Then I take a deep breath, put a big smile on my face, and I go approach the hottest girl I can see.  In this case it was a disgustingly hot young girl.   I walk up, start talking, and within maybe a minute or two I'm making out with the hottest girl in the entire bar BY FAR.  I look back and he's shaking his head like "what in the fuck?!?????"  He can't believe it.  

I can't teach you emotional regulation like that.  It ONLY comes from going through that exact situation that he went through and adjusting accordingly.  

YOU must pay the price like Mike did.  

YOU can't prepare your way out of experiencing tough shit.  

YOU must do the work.  

Sometimes, the answer is just "well, that won't happen."  

So what's the antidote for this style of thinking?  What's the antidote for endless preparation and "perfection before action"???

Say this phrase to yourself:  

WHATEVER HAPPENS, I CAN HANDLE IT.  

The reality is that you, just like Mike, will have tough sets.  You will adjust on the fly.  

 You will have tough emotions.  You can handle them.  

Life will fucking suck.  You can handle it.  

People will die.  You can handle it.  

It's just talking to girls, man...  You can handle it.  

You can't prepare your way out of paying the price it takes to get good... 

And most importantly...

You wouldn't want to screw yourself out of the man you become by paying it.  

600k Followers and GUESSING out in public.

Alright guys here we go... shit testing in action.  

I'm easing into YouTube and quite honestly I'm not trying to create a brand where I fuck with people.  I know from the past 20 years of coaching, that if a guy has a good experience with one coach he's more likely to try another one.  But if he feels like he got robbed then "everyone is out to rob me" becomes his mentality.  

That said, when you buy dating coaching you're literally paying for the coaches perception, and nothing else.  The info is out there, the routines are out there, the structure is out there.

YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE LOOKING AT.  

The guy in this video doesn't.  

I've done two reaction videos now and on the first one Michael Sartain is talking about "milk toast" dating coaches, and I'm starting to think this is the guy, coach Kyle on YouTube.  he's got like 600k followers and he's fucking GUESSING.  

in this video you get to see how a shit test is formulated first hand.  She adds up evidence and comes to the conclusion this dudes is an inexperienced incel.  Then Coach Kyle says the student is confident and it's fine to talk about being an incel, because he doesn't understand what's really going on.  

To me (snap judgement), he looks like a young coach who hasn't suffered and had to think much about game.  He's just been lucky enough to go direct, have it "work" and now he's a "coach."  

But!  I can't expect everyone to figure out dominance struggles and shit tests the way I have.  So I need to try my best to water things down and put some breadcrumbs in front of this guy because it's good for all of us and my entry into popularity doesn't have to be hating on everyone.  

Next up...

What in the fuck is going on in 2026??? I feel like I've been transported to another dimension where pickup is okay now?  Like the general public isn't shitting on us like they used to, kids (21 year olds) are making videos about approaching and the 3 second rule and they have 300k followers for it?  Makes me wanna have a resurgence like Limp Bizkit or something.  

I think it's super cool how all of our work from 20 years ago is coming alive in this way, and it's hard for me to wrap my head around. 

PLEASE, if you watch this video and care at all about me give it a like and a comment cause I'm really trying to grow this and reach guys who need a guy like me and not this guy.  

Cheers and thanks.

There are 2 Reasons You're Getting Shit Tested

 There are two different reasons you're getting shit tested.  Many years ago I argued in my Dominance Struggle posts that "she's definitely not shit testing you because she takes you seriously" and I was wrong about that.  At the time I was seeing so much evidence of only one type of shit testing my students were receiving (the kind to get you to go away) that I wasn't readily aware of the other type.  So today I want to go over them both.  

Here we go...

Type 1 - This is the type of shit test where the girl wants you to go away.  The process here is you approach, you unknowingly demonstrate some qualities that give the girl evidence to paint a picture of you that you're not a dominant guy.  She that perception of you to craft a test designed to get you to go away by pointing out or throwing in your face your readily apparent inadequacies, which she's generally quite accurate about.  Have you seen the same shit test from different women and it's about you?  This is type 1.  

Type 2 - This is a qualifying style shit test I haven't commonly talked or written about yet, and yes, it's happening when she is taking you seriously.  It's basically a glaring neon sign she likes you, but needs to go through her "standard routine" of tests before she can allow herself to like you.  As you remove mistakes with women and your approaches get better, you'll begin to notice a girl giving you more general social skills shit tests.  These are usually a cluster of 3-5 shit tests not specifically about you or your personality,  Instead, they're things like direct social challenges, misdirection, trying to derail your leading of the set, etc.  to see how you handle them.  This reads essentially "I think I like you but I gotta try X, Y, and Z first to verify what I think I'm seeing.  

Again, you'll know the difference between these because type 1 is directed at your personal characteristics, and when you lose you'll get a feeling you weren't good enough for her, and type 2 is more general social skills that don't seem to be about you personally.  I noticed type 1 before I got good, and then as soon as I got good it was like ALL Type 1 tests vanished out of thin air, and all that was left were type 2, which (for me) are now the only ones I see in my sets.

Cheers.  

How Do You "Wear The Pants" in Your Relationship? (A Roadmap)

From the very first time she sees you, your entire relationship is all about the struggle for dominance between you and her.  Starting at that first glimpse, scrutiny begins.  Everything she does seeks to isolate if you're a dominant guy.  Establish dominance and she's attracted.  Maintain it and she's yours forever.  Fail either, and lose her 100 times out of 100.  

Today I want to break down this process of continued scrutiny and dominance so it's clear what you're going through from the second you see her to the second it ends or lives forever. 

Pre-approach. 

She sees you and scrutiny begins.  It's not outward yet, it's in her head.  How do you look?  Well dressed?  Fit?  Groomed?  Weird?  Did she get an actual chance to look you over and have actual scrutiny?  (hint:  if she didn't, you should use the sprinkler technique on your approach so she can take you in).  

Do you meet the bar?  Are you good enough for her to even listen to anything you have to say?  Or does she have to stop you from talking immediately?  

Not qualifying means she has to stop you from even opening your mouth, and you get a blowout.  (Worth noting here that the same blowout applies when she just isn't available, or about 20% of sets). 

The Approach.  

When you meet the minimum requirements she has, the compliance you get when you open your mouth is she will listen and remain neutral and reserved.  You're talking 100% at the start and she's just watching. 

Are you communicating confidence?  Are you in a good state?  Are you demonstrating qualities that tell the story that you're a prized and desired guy?  Are you a 'top' guy??? 

She's hunting for it.  

Two things happen right now.  If you aren't standing up to her scrutiny then you'll get a "go away" style blowout (like "I have a boyfriend" if you've telegraphed interest prematurely).  

If she's taking you seriously then she'll give you a "qualifying" style shit test.  These take on many forms (direct "what's with your shoes" type stuff, acting too immediately sexual with you, misdirection, frame theft, etc).  

In a group setting?  The one testing you is the one with the most interest in whether or not you're a pre-selected guy.  

Not qualifying here means you leave feeling like you weren't good enough for her.  I'm sure you know this feeling well... I know I do.  

Succeed here and she'll show signs of attraction, flirt, and seek to prove herself to you (think "what's your name" or "where are you from" or touches your necklace and asks you about it.  Then she'll want you to know that she's cool, attractive, and desirable just like you.  She'll try to align herself with you if it's a group setting.

Let me make this clear:  What just happened is you demonstrated attractiveness, she checked if it was real, then once she believes you're qualified she starts making it clear she's interested and tries to demonstrate her attractiveness to you.  

The Close.  

If you have managed to missed all the signals during the approach or have no idea if she views you as a dominant, attractive guy, then this is where you get an obvious sign in the form of her saying no.  

Yes, you can still not have established dominance with her and still get a phone number.  95% of men aren't establishing dominance in the interaction, so women have to get laid somehow, and her saying yes to contact information just demonstrates you haven't exhausted your margin for error yet.  She still needs more evidence.  

The Date, Sex, Sex 3x, and The Relationship.  

The rules here are all the same:  meet the minimum requirements for dominance and she will continue scrutiny and further the relationship, even if you're not interpersonally dominant with her.  

Scrutiny here comes in the form of picking, prodding, poking, fights, and bullshit.  It's the fight about a meaningless pencil and the way you handle it.  It's the jab at your self esteem and how you handle it.  It's the boundary she explores to see if it's real. She's testing your actual level of dominance through experimentation so she can hone in on your exact level of dominance.  

It's only when she understands exactly your measure of dominance that she can relax and "feel safe" as they say.

Failing to be dominant or not quite being dominant enough during this phase can take DECADES before a breakup happens.  Establishing dominance can (at a minimum) happen at the pace she exhausts herself of incessant knee-jerk whims to test you, and at a maximum can literally last the entirety of your life.  Ever seen that couple who still fights, breaks up, and gets back together all the time?  They have unestablished interpersonal dominance and she's pushing him because she can't let down until she knows his EXACT measure of dominance. 

Men who don't understand this concept and can't "win" with her sometimes get so frustrated they're pushed to violence as a means of dominance.  Have you hit a woman before?  It's because you're not winning verbally and you're resorting to physical dominance.  Fix your shit, man.  (and for the record, I have never done this, I've just seen it enough to know I should address it for those of us who need to hear it).  

A note on abused women:  Listen man, some women have been abused and don't respond appropriately to "normal" dominance establishment.  In other words, balanced dominance techniques aren't enough for you to establish dominance NO MATTER WHAT.  When I've gotten the feeling before that my normal stuff wasn't working, I wanted to understand this and I ran an experiment.  What happens if I'm verbally abusive?  Would a woman like this respond better?  

Unfortunately yes.  

So a word of caution:  When you have enough experience to understand what constitutes a dominant position in your relationships and "it's not working with this one," it could be because she's been abused and "needs" that same energy to respond with attraction.  

Please run the opposite direction at top speed if you see this.  It is not your job to perform years of therapy, and no good can come from spending more time with women like this.  

I'm serious, run away and don't look back.  

Okay, back to the topic at hand....

Success happens for you when you can establish that you're a dominant guy, establish that you're in the dominant position in the relationship, then maintain your dominant standing from time to time when she pokes her scrutinous head up from time to time and needs reminding that's she's picked correctly.  

Cheers.  

When Is The Time Right To Commit to An Exclusive Relationship?

 Hey guys, 

Just a quick drop-in today to pass an idea by you.  The last YouTube Videos I posted on the Male Hoe Phase has me putting together a quick concept that I believe applies to YOU.  Here's the concept:  

Women have a "hoe" phase where they dip their toes into the sexual water and sleep with as many men as they dare.  Remember that women go through 4 stages of dating:  Boyfriend, Breakup/Depression, Party Mode, Boyfriend Search Mode.  Then they get a boyfriend and repeat.  The Hoe Phase happens in Party Mode.  Women can have multiple hoe phases as these cycles persist in their lives.  They can do this because they have abundance of choice.  They Hoe around and eventually feel guilty and know that it's meaningless and they should search for meaning.  

When a woman finally gets to "boyfriend search mode" she will avidly PUSH a relationship on the next guy in line.  They'll filter him for boyfriend qualities and often do things like withhold sex from him even when they've just been ran through by Chads, because they believe that the best way to get a boyfriend is to first convince him they're not a hoe by making him wait to sleep with them.  

The problem is that MEN OFTEN DON'T GO THROUGH THE SAME PROCESS.  

Her necessity not to feel like a hoe and therefore push commitment on the man doesn't mean the timing is right for him!  

You're allowed to have your own hoe phase.  

So the question becomes who is in the wrong?  Is it the man for not wanting a commitment?  Or is it her for pushing him to commit when he's not ready?  

Women constantly push commitment on men when men aren't ready, then they get super pissed and butthurt when they get ghosted or pumped and dumped.  And it's because BOTH sides aren't aware of how timing should work.  

A man's timing of having exercised his abundance enough to feel ready to look for something deeper in a relationship and the woman's timing of being ready for that MUST match up.  

IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO TELL A WOMAN THAT YOU'RE NOT READY.  

In fact!  I recommend verbally pumping the brakes like this for a long time in your prospective relationships as a means to both slow down this process and to get the woman to be on her best behavior for you, because when she's looking for that commitment and pushing for you to be just hers, she's going to be the best version of herself before you.  

So what about her being "ran through?"  

Good question.  

Here's our defense.  First off, please know that banging 10 dudes is much different than 100 or 1000.  It's normal for women to sleep around a bit and learn about dating.  It's normal to make mistakes, have regrets, have some growth, etc. so I don't believe we should be holding that against women.  After all, when you attain the ability to have abundance, my guess is you'd like to have sex with more than 10 women too, right?  

So the solution here is to use condoms with any new women you sleep with like it's your religion, and when the times comes that you'd like to not do that anymore, it's time for a trip to the doctor for you both.  I'd recommend you have an adult conversation that goes something like "hey so I can see we're getting more serious, and honestly these condoms suck, so I figured it might be time for us to discuss our future a bit and maybe I can go get tested for you so we both know that we're safe for each other."  I'd recommend you do this around the 4-9 month mark, holding off this happening until she's really obviously wanting it.  

This tactic of verbally pushing her away from you by saying "I'm not ready yet" or "we just met" or "I feel like I don't know you well enough yet" or "I just got out of something serious" etc. (anything to slow down the define the relationship talk) while still being willing to hangout with her, spend time 1-2 times a week max, etc is perfect confusion game and massively amplifies her attraction for you while buying you time to decide between her and other women.  

Remember, you're allowed to experience YOUR abundance before you commit, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment, so NEVER push her for a commitment or even mention it, and watch in amazement as she pushes for it 10 times out of 10.  

Another tip:  Are you seeing her once a week or 2 times at the most and you WANT her to be your girlfriend?  Just change from one time a week to 3-4 times a week hanging out and watch in amazement as she basically instantly wants to know "where this is going" then a week later bitches and moans that you're not her boyfriend.  

Cheers.