This rating system is pretty simple, and it's based on the value a woman offers to your life. There are three categories of value a woman offers to a man's life. Those three are:
1. Sexual Value - Sexual value is pretty obvious. An example of a high sexual value woman would be a woman who brings other women to you to have threesomes with. Another example of a woman with high sexual value is one whose techniques or bedroom style matches well with yours. If you can grow together sexually that's another huge plus.
An example of a woman with low sexual value is someone who won't have sex with you or has extreme issues with having sex. To me, any woman who doesn't have a lot of sexual comfort is a huge minus. Again, the ability to grow and change herself is a plus, because it allows room in your dating life to include a woman who is possibly a bit under-experienced or naive about sex.
A quick side note: To many men, having a woman with low sexual experience is a HUGE thing. They only want to date women who have had sex with less than X number of men. In other words, they're equating sexual value with lack of sexual experience. Huh? Why? I'm all for dating younger girls who don't have a lot of experience, but when I do I would prefer a girl who is both willing and ready to learn and grow sexually, because there are many women who might have that low level of sexual experience who will have it forever because quite simply they are for whatever reason not comfortable with sexual experiences on the whole.
2. Social Value - The social value that a woman offers a man is a lot about arm candy and how the woman carries herself. When you walk into any place with a gorgeous woman on your arm who is laughing, smiling, and flirting with you, it makes you look great in many ways, and many men value this a great deal. How good does the woman you're rating make you look? Social value is also about social skills and how a woman carries herself. Does your woman back you up in public and stand right by your side? High status women are often classy and sophisticated, and if you're into that type of thing then having a woman with class is a valuable thing.
A woman with low social value makes you look like shit in front of everyone. She maybe dresses poorly or doesn't always look her best, she might have poor social skills, laugh way too loud, get too drunk, or make other common social mistakes. Worse yet, she could not back you up in front of your friends, thereby making you look even worse. How terrible of a person are you that your own chick won't back you up! I'm not sure about you, but any woman I date has my back 100% and it doesn't matter if i'm the wrongest i've ever been, we'll talk about that privately another time.
3. Lifestyle Value - The lifestyle value a woman offers can be a large range of things, all of which boil down to how your general day to day life has improved with her around. For me, chemistry with a woman is a huge benefit to my lifestyle. You've got a normal baseline of how your life was before her, and now that she's around what are you doing differently and how has your life changed?
A woman with very high lifestyle value might be mega rich and take you on vacations or provide for you, or as I said earlier she might just make you feel good every time you're with her. Often women offer lifestyle value because of where they work too. This could be anything from free hamburgers if she works at McDonalds, to free vacations if you travel with her to a work destination.
Using your newfound knowledge of the value women offer to men, what questions do you have? Are you choosing between two women or even whether or not you're just going to keep the one you're with? Feel free to comment below. What value does she offer you? Can you change the value she offers you by asking for more? With a little bit of knowledge, some desire to make your life better, and a little bit of balls to ask for what you'd like, most guys can considerably make their dating lives better! So get out there and start enjoying your lifestyle as a single man, you deserve it!
Do you think the sexual value criteria would be different if you're looking to get married? From what I understand, the fear is a that a sexually experienced woman would be more likely cheat or leave. That could be very expensive and emotionally damaging if you're married to her, but more like hitting a minor speed bump if you're just dating and have the ability to replace her.
ReplyDeleteIt's clearly a double standard to consider experience good for a man, but bad for a woman, but I wonder if there is a rational basis for it or if it's just a remnant of an outdated belief system and insecurity.
Good question. No I don't think the criteria will change for me. I really don't see a correlation between sexual experience and likelihood to leave a marriage. There are even porn stars who have long lasting marriages.
DeleteThe reality is that when a man has the ability to make a woman emotionally invested in a relationship, most women are very faithful and won't cheat. The reason why is simple. Women follow their emotions. If she's emotionally invested into a man, it's tough for other men to take that away or change it. It's my belief that when a woman is emotionally taken care of, she's highly unlikely to cheat.
As far as the double standard goes, I used to not want a woman who had had a lot of sex, but it was because I hadn't had a lot of sex, and I think I naturally wanted someone compatible with my level of sexual experience. This want was also rooted in ego for me, because I wanted to be the only one or the best one who had fucked her. These days if a woman is clean and we're together, her past doesn't affect me too much.
Thats fucken crazy dude, idk, what ive experienced, all women are frickin liars.... Its sucks, like they always gotta lie about shit... And its hard to really trust a women nowadays or want to be in a relationship. Like I have this girl, were in this love thimg where we express ourselves and she knows im seeing other girls, and shes really invested in me, she writes really long texts expresaing her love and somtimes she tells me shes afraid to lose me, she got really really mad at herself wen I wanted to break up with her for lieing. Im very curious how long do u think she will be cool with that? cause I love sarging. My guess is forever. and it kinda sounds funny how u believe women wont cheat, like I wish I had that belief. I kind of do when I begin somthing with a women and everything goes real smooth and shes honest about things. But yeah, thats a big reason why I stay away from relationships. And if she were to want me to settle with her, id tell her no because she lied, which is kinda sad though....
DeleteHow would I get over the fact that she lied and how caan I know if she will ever do it again? Is there tests? Cause this is a cool girl.
So let me get this straight. You're seeing a chick openly and you're worried about her cheating? Seems like a double standard to me. If you're sleeping with other people you should be cool with it if she does. That's a totally different scenario then an exclusive relationship where both parties have agreed not to cheat, or even a situation where you're just dating and leading up to a relationship.
DeleteAs far as you believing women won't cheat, when your skillset gets very high, you'll start to know that women won't cheat on you because no one else can emotionally wrangle them in like you'll be able to. They'll be hooked.
As far as her lying to you, why is it such a big deal to you? If you don't take the relationship seriously you shouldn't care so much about her lying to you from time to time. You're dating around and sleeping around, so she should be able to do the same. If you're going to be serious with her, then be serious. If you're not, then this type of thing shouldn't bother you. IMO, the problem is the dichotomy in what you want, the lying is just a result of that.
For example. I'm sleeping with a number of girls, and from time to time they might break plans and give me a reason they broke them. I don't care if it's a lie, we just reschedule and fuck then, because neither of us are super emotionally invested. On the other hand, if i'm dating a girl seriously and we're exclusive, then it's totally necessary for me to be able to trust her. If she breaks that trust in some way then I might choose to end the exclusivity but I might still sleep with her for some time after that.
Hey Jake, following your response to Jon, I have the same belief that women are generally faithful to the guy they are super into. Then, what would be some real life examples to get a woman emotionally invested? I would imagine it would be along the lines of being "hot and cold" or doing push and pull?
ReplyDeleteThe list you're looking for includes any possible good trait a guy can have, and the combination of them that he has. A woman will emotionally invest more and more as she gets to know the man she is dating better. There are some strategies that cause this more than others though. My strategy has always been to be challenging to a woman and make her really work to get to know me and be with me.
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