Yooooo guys! Hi again. I know it's been awhile.
Today I wanna talk about what's been on my mind lately, and it's likely something you've not heard before. Spoiler alert: I'm not selling you anything today, so just a good read.
First off, though, a quick update on the new website. Yes, the new website is coming down the pipeline. I had an unfortunate setback with a web developer and lost a significant amount of time and money, but I assure you I'm working through this problem and the new website is going to be better than ever... (like, it'll have a homepage and it'll work without issues, lol). I could still use some help though, so if you're a guy with more time and skills than budget, get ahold of me! I'm searching hard for someone capable of video editing on Adobe Premier Pro and I need some graphic design, so if you've got those I'm happy to take you out and get you some women. Email me at jakepulls@gmail.com if this is you. It's a chance to get free coaching and get into my inner circle, and if your game is in my mind it's a very good thing.
The other update going on is that I'm about 90% booked out till the end of January right now (woohoo!) so if you want some coaching you can still get some, there are just not any full weekends available until February.
Okay, updates over.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the evolution of game. I've been chatting with some "older" students who have trained with every company across the board, and when they find out my dominance struggle theory they go crazy. Not joking, they go fucking crazy and get super excited.
"You mean I don't just have to go out and say all these crazy memorized routines and hope they stick?"
Correct.
"Wait, but is this natural???"
No.
"So what is it?"
It's the ability to flex your creative muscle in order to create a dominance struggle. And it's what I believe to be the single most important factor in determining how good you'll be with women for the rest of your life.
Let me explain.
I'm sure many of you guys are listening to Joe Rogan's podcast, and to me the life of a comedian has many similarities with the life of a guy who is learning dating. We both do "sets," and we both go through this ABSOLUTELY CRAZY task of flopping like hell until we ever-so-slowly learn our skill set bit-by-bit. The end result is that to the layman you are just killing it! You're prepared for any and everything someone might think in their head or try and do to you before they ever attempt it. I can literally count down the seconds until a girl approaches me or re-opens me, and it's a symptom of the original "embrace and extend" theory that Brad P. taught me years and years ago.
The concept is this: When you embrace the concept behind a routine because you've done that routine a bunch, you'll soon start to branch off of the original words and use the concept in different places. This extension in your ability to use the theory opens up new doors to new things to say, and when you write those things down, you can repeat them forever and they always work, and it's because the original concept or theory behind the routine you learned still works.
Got it?
So what happens when you can do this with dominance struggles and how does that relate to the current state of game that's taught across the dating industry?
First off, it's obvious that much of the dating industry still teaches routines (myself included). They're a great way to start you out and get you through the initial stages of overcoming your fear and being able to open and start getting attraction. Cool. The problem with this method of coaching was that students experienced extreme backlash from women when women "found out" that the student wasn't as charismatic as he was professing to be. Often and expectedly, the routines were delivered terribly with poor facial expression, tonality, and overall energy, and it caused havoc.
Enter "Natural Game."
Backlash from what you could call really really unnatural game caused the industry to adjust. Now the plan was to sell "Natural Game," which I can only imagine was some dumb "be yourself" shit that coaches tries to adjust to or something? I'm not sure, I never jumped on this marketing train. It's important to note though that GUYS FUCKING KNEW that pickup and routines were unnatural, even when those guys were not the most social guys.
Okay, so we started with super unnatural game, then went to trying to do the most natural game ever (read: guys flopping super miserably).
So what's the end game here? Where does the dating industry end up?
The way I see it, we end up teaching a way of gaming that absolutely appear natural in every way to the woman. In other words, you didn't walk up from 20 feet away, you didn't say an awkward long memorized line, and you have plausible deniability that you're even making an approach. In other words, should she accuse you of hitting on her you could EASILY make a quick and solid argument against that frame. (quick for instance, if you said "Uh, you bumped into me lady. Get over yourself.")
So what's the minimum amount of canned "game" we need and how can we make this process seem absolutely like "it just happened" to the woman? What MUST we do and what can we absolutely not do?
Well, there are things that you absolutely cannot NOT do.
For instance, you can't NOT open (until you're at a higher level and you can do my "she's not even in the room" stuff, which for the record I've never seen another human be able to do). To make your opening as natural as possible, it MUST be situational, it MUST be something normal guys would say, or it MUST be a spin on something a normal guy would say.
Spoiler alert: I already teach exactly this, and you can do it. You already do.
Second thing you can't not do: You also can't NOT continue speaking after you open a girl. You simply MUST continue talking after your opener. You talk 100% and she talks 0%. This is the rule. Be the guy you are around your friends and family who doesn't hold back in any way. Show her 100% the true you.
That covers opening and the beginning of attraction.
Next up, what's the end-game of attraction?
News Flash: It's dominance struggles. Women screen first by seeing if your level of social dominance is even worth paying attention to, then by trying to socially dominate you for clarification of your value. THAT'S IT. Done.
Now we come to the interesting part of things, because if you're a guy who just doesn't communicate enough value to the woman in front of you, then you won't be able to practice dominance struggles. She'll simply not respond to you and you won't get tested by her, and not you can't practice this most important skill in the entire world. Womp. That sucks.
So we need a method for practicing dominance struggles, and we need it to be natural and not routine-y.
This is where our creativity is necessary.
The task at hand for a guy learning dating is to be able to practice the dominance struggle "dance," and the minimum way we can do this is by giving you... you guessed it... a canned line!
Yayyyy, more canned shit... I know.
It's important though! It's a very small, short line, and it's the ONLY line you'll ever have to learn, I assure you.
Remember earlier when I talked about embracing a concept and then extending it? This small bit of a beginning script is the FIRST STEP you'll take towards gaining the skill set of CREATING DOMINANCE STRUGGLES WITHOUT SCRIPTS.
Now stop, please. This is the single most important thing I can possibly tell you in your whole life.
When you can create dominance struggles "on the fly" or seemingly out of nowhere with a woman, and you can do so in the context of a role-play, you will never in your life struggle with women ever again.
Let's talk about the IMMENSE benefits of this:
1. 100% Natural, because it's based on what you're already seeing, hearing, and feeling in that moment.
2. MINIMUM AMOUNT OF "CANNED" or "SCRIPTED" LINES. Literally it's one fucking line I give you and maybe an opener or two which have now become a few words you're already saying. This is literally the minimum you can do of using lines.
3. Allows you a platform for practice and development of your dominance struggling skill set (the skills you'll need your entire life if you want to keep a women or get infinitely many new women).
4. Always maximizes your chances at getting attraction, because women use this screen to literally decide if they're attracted.
5. Over time you develop your creativity more and more, and in doing so you become more and more "natural" in your appearance to the women you meet. Yes, you're using a theory, but you're using it in the way YOU use it. This means its 100% congruent. You can't be "caught" doing this because it'll never come off like a line.
So that's it. The "end game" for everyone and anyone in the dating industry will be to learn this simple formula of being able to open in a seemingly natural and therefore plausibly deniable way and then creatively start a dominance struggle (as a means to attraction) with the woman in front of you.
(Note here that when I'm talking about opening, I'm talking about obeying the first rule of attraction, which is that for a girl to get attracted to you, she has to NOT know if she could "get you.")
Also, for good measure let's throw in the 2nd rule of attraction (first time announcing this):
The second rule of attraction is that if a girl somehow gets the idea that she could have you if she wants to, you must CREATE DOUBT in her mind if you want to get that girl.
...and by doubt I mean real, plausible doubt, not just saying something like "whatever you couldn't have me!" or some other uncalibrated shit. She must actually get the idea that she was wrong about her initial impression.
So that's it.
The "end game" for the dating industry gives guys who are learning about women:
1. The ability to open in a plausibly deniable way so that the woman doesn't instantly think she could have the guy if she wanted
and
2. The ability to learn and practice how to attract women using the woman's own screening mechanism.
Do you know anyone else's method in the dating industry that accomplishes both of these? I sure don't.
And by the way, these two points have EXTREME BENEFITS FOR THE STUDENT!
1. When you can open in a plausibly deniable way, it eliminates approach anxiety! When you don't feel like she "knows" you're hitting on her, how nervous do you feel? Probably not nervous at all, right? Yeah... me neither.
2. When you can practice beating a woman's screening mechanism, you're like a comic working on his material over and over until you can creatively do this in a fun way for you, and there is no better way to keep you interested in the process.
It should be FUN to hit on women!
It should NOT be scary, anxiety-inducing punishment that makes you wanna stay at home, get high, order a pizza, eat it, then jerk off to porn while getting fatter by the minute, only to end up a super-alone creepy weirdo.
Cool. So that's my lesson today. Hope you liked it.
For more on this visit girlfriendfastlane.com or email me: jakepulls@gmail.com
See you guys soon.
At some point in your progress through the game, you might find out that you can open, attract, kino, and get numbers well. Great. However, many people that are in this position will get those numbers but convert them into a very low percentage of dates. I, myself had the "lots of numbers in LA but tons of flakes" problem and at first I got frustrated. Very soon after I crushed the problem with a huge fucking hammer.
What I found out though is that attraction and kino is enough for the moment, but only THAT moment. The long-term result of attraction and kino that are done perfectly is that the girl will DEFINITELY remember you, but probably not feel CONNECTED with you. This is why she won't answer your texts or call you back.
How do I get her connected, you ask? You can establish that connection in a few ways, but right here i'd like to talk about three of them with you.
1. Establishing commonalities
2. Conveying your identity with sincerity about what's happening with the two of you
3. Truthfulness with built-in rapport breaking
So here we go.
1. Establishing commonalities. This one's self explanatory, but the basic formula is to get the girl talking, then when she says she did X thing, you're going to say anything and everything that you know about that thing. In my case, I wear two rings on my left hand. One's from Bali, Indonesia and the other is from my trip to Ibiza, Spain. Anytime the girl talks about traveling (and they all do) then I tell them about my travels and how I wear my trips on my hand. Works wonderfully. A commonality can be as ingrained as that, or it could be something stupid like "Oh you drink Diet Coke? No shit so do i. OMG i'm so addicted to it and I found out through my addiction that everyone who drinks diet coke it addicted. Crazy huh?" Done. Do this well with just one thing that's deeper like my traveling thing and you can get laid from it, or just do it with some smaller things like the diet coke thing. Calibrate this to the depth, intelligence level, and energy level of the girl and situation and you're golden. Learn this calibration through trial and error.
2. Conveying your identity. If you've attracted the girl and kino'd her, but she looks back on the interaction and doesn't know "What you are" (and can't tell her friends) then she won't answer phone calls. What are you and why will she find out?
In my case, I look like a rocker so girls always ask if i'm in a band, or what I do. That's the why of why she'll find out. The "what I am" will come when she asks. When she does, I tell her the honest story about how and why I came to Hollywood (leaving out the dating thing of course). I tell her a quick synopsis of important older events of my life and how they lead me to my current situation. This story shouldn't be super long.
Here's the important part, and the super-successful way that it gets both of us on the same page. So at this point in the interaction, i've opened, she's attracted, i've been kinoing, and i've established some commonalities.
I usually say something like "Oh, where i'm from X happens or X is how we do something." This prompts her to ask about where i'm from and what brought me to Hollywood. Are you with me here?
When she asks, I start to act like i'm going to tell her, then I stop, change my tone to a more genuine/serious one, slow it down and "Are we.....? (quick pause) Do you really want to know?"
When I say "Are we....?" I kind of do a back and forth motion from me to her with my hand. I'm basically saying to her "Are we getting somewhere with this and is this a serious inquiry into my life from somebody who's genuinely interested in me and a possible sexual/intimate relationship OR if it's not then ......."
**Note that this is a great place to isolate the girl! "It's kinda loud here, let's go over here for a second."**
Does this make sense? I'll tell you that after the word OR in the previous sentance that I don't know what happens there because I've never heard them say no. EVERYTIME they get more serious, I "closen" the kino (make it more intimate, like a bf and gf would do) and they get VERY serious about listening to me. This is a great time to get them to sit on your lap or escalate towards a makeout. It almost always happens after this. Are you with me here?
3. Truthfullness with built-in rapport breaking. This is a simple concept that TONS of guys REALLY FUCKUP in pickup and when talking with women. Basically it's this: Be honest. I'm not talking about spilling something you shouldn't. I'm talking about being honest about your likes and dislikes.
I'll give you an example: The girl says something like "I like the band Nickelback. They're my favorite." Let's say for a second that you don't like Nickelback (thereby making you awesome). A lot of guys who hate Nickelback in this situation wouldn't say something like "Fuck that, I hate Nickelback. They can smoke my pole" because somehow they have something telling them in their head that if they don't like what the girl likes then they won't be qualified to be with this chick and/or she won't like them if they say something negative about something the girl likes. Instead what comes out is "Hmmm, well they're okay, but I really like X." Guess what's happened here? You've accepted her frame in an attempt to gain rapport with her.
This is a pretty subtle thing to pickup on and learn, but it's something everyone learning pickup should understand eventually. I call it being honest with built-in rapport breaking because you're not going to ever run into a girl who has everything in the world in common with you, so when you actually take the honest road on these types of things and tell the girl your honest opinion, you're essentially breaking rapport with her and inviting her to now accept your frame of, in this case, how sucky Nickelback is. Make sense? You're demonstrating that you don't care about if she likes you or not (non-neediness), inviting her to try and chase you and accept your frame (dominance). Do this and observe how many times the girl will be the one who backpedals, saying something like "Well, you're right, they're not the best" or something like that. She does this because you've shown her that you'll be honest even at the cost of her not liking you, and now that she can't lump you in with all the guys who do this, she's attracted and now doesn't want to lose you!. Wow. What a great result! All you had to do was be honest about shit! I really hope this sinks in with anyone reading because I think it's a fantastic thing to learn.