Getting Caught and What Happens

I wanted to talk about a situation that happened to me recently where I was out with a girlfriend, and a new rotation girl saw us at the bar.  I originally didn't want to risk taking a girl to a bar where I knew there was a possibility that another girl I was sleeping with would be there, but in this case I took the risk and lost.  Here's what happened:

We walk in and I see a friend who's with a girl I haven't met.  I say hey to him and introduce my girlfriend to her.  Later on we're leaving the bar and when I run back in to pay my tab, I see the new rotation girl sitting at a table with my friend and his girl, apparently they're friends.  Uh oh.  

What would you do?  

At this point we have noticed each other and made eye contact, so there's no walking out acting like I didn't see her.  I decide to just walk up and say "Hey!  I didn't notice you here, what's up?"  We talk briefly, and the whole time she has a paralyzed look on her face.  I ask her "So you wanna get together this week?  I've gotta head home now but i'll text you."  She says yeah sure and I head out.  

So what happens now?  

Well what happens now often depends on the girl's age.  If she's young (this one's 21), then usually you're in good shape.  I'll simply continue hanging out and if the girl brings up anything i'll tell her the girl's a friend of mine.  We'll continue hanging out and she'll explain the situation to herself however she sees fit.  

If she gets serious about the conversation and starts asking direct questions, i'll tell her something along the lines of "Are you asking questions you really wanna know the answers to? If you are, then i'd be happy to honestly discuss anything that you'd like to discuss, but I have two requirements.  Those requirements are that you are willing to discuss things in an adult way, and that you're ready to handle whatever answers you might get.  So give it some thought tonight and we can talk tomorrow about whatever you'd like to talk about."  

When you say a statement like this to a girl, it lets her know that you're going to be open and honest with her as long as she's adult enough to handle what she might hear.  It usually causes them to think a bit before they overreact.  The reality of the situation is that we're not a couple, and i'm allowed to date freely because we're not in a committed relationship.  Simple.  

If you're dealing with an older woman in this situation, she's likely going to have more of an issue when something like this happens.  This is because older women often need more clarity and labeling of the relationship they have or might be about to have.  In situations where an older woman (27 years old +) sees you hanging out with another woman, she's likely going to flip out and you might very well lose her over it.  

The moral of this whole story is that there's really no need to freak out.  In stressful situations, do your best to remain calm and act normal, and try to keep things brief and exit with grace, then pick up your normal patterns of texting and talking and hanging out just as you have been before.  Often things will be far less traumatic then you thought they would be.  And if you happen to have the catastrophe of your lifetime and lose both girls, well then take your lumps, learn from your mistakes, and go out and get yourself another girl.  

You can do it.

Another Great Review

Review of Coaching Session with Jake P.

What struck me the most about Jake was how much he listened to what I had to say and how genuinely interested he was in hearing my story. He was not just clocking in, and I could feel that his heart was actually in this. He would ask sharp, insightful questions that dug into the core of whatever issue was being discussed. I found him very intuitive, like he understood what I was trying to convey and had either been there or heard it before. In short, the guy is a teacher, a good one.

Being skilled at something is one thing, but being able to teach it? That can be a whole other story. He coached me on the way I carried myself, and gave me some pointers that really resonated with me. Simple things for sure, like “hold your head up higher”, or “keep one hand free so you can talk with it”, and “hold your drink this way” but they made a difference. The sprinkler thing is pretty cool. I ain’t giving that one away; you’ll have to ask the guy. 

They are things that I have now implemented into my life. He helped me look at some beliefs I had in a new way, showing them to be irrational. Probably the most useful thing he helped me with was identifying four fundamental areas that I needed to work on. Instead of being flooded with details, he was able to distill my behavior that night and give me some solid, actionable advice. All in all, I learned quite a bit, even from just watching him interact with other people. I noticed how cheerful he was and how he treated everybody there with respect and the same attention that he was showing me as a student.

A Woman's Slick Trick to get Monogamy

Women are slick when it comes to relationships... far slicker and smarter than the average man.  I'd say women are not only smarter about relationships on the whole, they're also better informed than their male counterparts.  They've figured out a trick to get men to commit, and men everywhere are falling for it, so i'd like to tell you about it today...

How to Have a Great Valentines Day

Valentines Day is tomorrow gentlemen.  So strap in, because whether you've got love or not, you're in for a mental and emotional ride.  In preparation, I wanna go through some things to do and not do for your specific situation with women.  With any luck, you can make it a great day!

Why People Fail At Changing Habits

We all have habits we'd like to break or start.  Maybe you'd like to smoke or drink less, start working out more, or (for most guys reading my blog) you'd like to be in the habit of approaching more and doing better with women.  But why doesn't that happen, even when we seem to try so hard at it?

The Fizzle Out

Have you ever started to date a woman and you start dating, maybe you have sex once or twice, then somehow you just can't manage to setup another date or get her to text you much because she's just so seemingly busy?  Well today I wanna talk about why that happens and how you can use that same girl move to your advantage.  I like to call it "The Fizzle Out."

The 'Ol Boner & Bye Bye

Today I wanna talk about a classic woman "move" that I like to call the 'Ol Boner & Bye Bye.  If you've ever had sex before, the odds are this has happened to you.  The 'Ol Boner & Bye Bye is where you're hanging out with a girl, you start making out and you get a boner.  Then, before you have an orgasm of some type, the girl shuts you down and you go bye bye home alone, with just you and your raging hard penis.  As we all know, this is not a pleasurable experience and often results in masturbation.  In fact, I consider myself lucky if I can maintain my boner long enough to get home to the privacy of my room.

Obviously, the reality is that women can, do, and will continue to do the Boner & Bye Bye until the end of time, so it's an essential dating skill to understand why this happens and how much you should put up with it happening before deciding to move on or take other action.