Friday, November 30, 2012

A Guide to Social Connectors

Women who are extremely socially connected are rare.  When you find one, tempting as she may be to have sex with, I would recommend you exercise a completely different plan of action...

But first, just what the heck is a social connector?  I define a social connector as a person who is quite naturally an extremely social person.  Connectors often have jobs where they promote events, but no matter what they do you'll see them hanging out with different groups of people and they'll seem to know EVERYONE!

"But wait Jake!  I'm a pretty social guy and I can just go and meet people on my own, so why do I care about a social connector?"

Great question random dude.  There are many reasons you care about meeting social connectors.  The biggest reason I like to know social connectors is because they are always on top of the most current events happening in the city you're in, and not only that they usually know how to get into the events for free.

Another reason I love to know social connectors is because they'll constantly be introducing me to new people, and when those new people are girls, my penis comes with a seal of approval from the connector, especially if the connector is a female.  This may not seem to be a big deal, but when a girl introduces a guy to another female, that guy gets to skip a lot of possible trust issues associated with walking up to a woman cold where a she feels like she's literally meeting a stranger.  When introduced, the guy is more a friend of a friend, making the process of meeting each other and connecting happen much more easily.

To give you an idea of how this opportunity with a social connector can play out, i'll give you a quick example.  I met a female social connector like three years ago at a random party, and a year later I saw her again and we started a friendship.  Since then, i've been introduced to like 30 of her friends, including a couple actresses on well known tv shows.  These are high level hot women.  In addition, i've been backstage to several concerts and gained admittance to countless high-end clubs without bringing women with me (often an annoying necessity in Hollywood).

So, onto the strategy.  It's a pretty simple one, don't have sex with the social connector!  If you ignore this advice and have sex with her, you'll literally be fucking yourself out of meeting many more women.  Here's why:  When you have sex with the connector, you install a finite amount of time onto your relationship with her.  When something goes wrong or the relationship ends, BAM... no more hanging out with her.  A friendship on the other hand, is far less tumultuous in nature and can last for many many years with a proper exchange of value.

Instead of having sex with the social connector, try and get her attracted to you and touch her a bit, and then stop the escalation right there.  Probably as far as I will go is putting my arm around her, hugging her, possibly kissing the side of her head when we meetup or something like that, but I certainly will never hold hands with her or do any close body contact (besides a hug obviously).  Got it?

So what happens with the social connector is I meet her, I establish some attraction with her, and through continued non-action and non pulling the trigger sexually with her, I can create a scenario where she's attracted to me and basically becomes a good friend of mine over time who secretly (in her mind) has a crush on me.

In return from me, she gets validation and stimulation when at the club and any other value I see she needs that I can offer.  I'll try and get any guys who she likes and I know to have sex with her if she likes them, and I won't hesitate to tell her how hot she is or build her up in front of others, but when I do it will be in a way that somewhat will subcommunicate that she's not my type (even though I never say anything like this, just saying that a girl's hot can have the subtext of "I don't like you but other guys should").  In this manner I can be her friend and around her a ton, and since she's attracted to me she'll inevitably show or demonstrate that to other women around, socially proofing me in the process.  And!  she'll introduce me to everyone not because she likes me, but because she can't help it because that is who she is, it's her identity.  In this manner, we both offer each other value in life, and neither of us are using the other.

If you decide to have sex with a girl the connector introduces you to, do a great job of it and keep it discreet.  For instance if you go to an event that happens every Tuesday and you meet a girl there, try and go out during the week with her instead of hooking up with her in front of everyone that night.  Don't become couple status in front of the social circle by attending that event every week holding her hand and playing kissy face with her while everyone watches.  Instead, show up sporadically to that regular event until you know that you're more serious about each other.  This guards both hers and your reputations, and keeps things from getting messy if you decide not to see each other and would both like to remain friends with the people in your social circle.  Since you're a busy guy anyway, it should be very easy to not go out at all a few weeks in a row even (or just hit new spots).  If anyone asks you if you're with a girl or having sex with her, be vague and dodgy and never ever admit that you've had sex with that girl for any reason.  Say things like "Oh she's cool, I don't know... maybe I should", "Nah, I'm just kinda doing my own thing right now" or  "Nah, I've got some other stuff i've kinda been handling lately."  They'll get the point.

When your social connector is a guy, he'll often be a promotor or something, and the value you offer to him should be women just like the value he's offering to you.  If not, you'll be fighting for women with him, and that's a terrible idea.  I would give a guy like this my old dead telephone numbers of hot local women so that he can run his phone game on them to get them to come out to clubs so he can get paid for them.  I would also try and bring girls that he likes so that he wants me around.  In addition to all this,  I might try and provide him with whatever other value I can.  For instance, if i'm an insurance guy for a living, i'd do my best to lower his insurance rate and if I work at a burger joint he's getting free hamburgers.

Using social connectors is a great way to have an huge income stream of women in your life.  It's worth noting that this strategy is for intermediate to advanced guys.  I didn't even attempt social circle game like this until a couple years ago, and I was already at a professional level then.  My recommendation is that if you're skilled enough to recognize a connector when you see one, then you should try this type of strategy when the opportunity presents itself.  Offer some value to the connector, don't have sex with them (especially if it's a dude), go to the regular events only some of the times (maybe twice a month or three times at the very most), meet all the women you can, and I think you'll be a very happy dude.

BTW, I realize that this article is opening up possibilities for about a million questions, so feel free to comment below.  I always get to my comments as promptly as I can.  Thanks for reading.

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  1. i like connector game and i like to work on my connector skills. i saw plenty of time (girls and good looking guys specially) running that kind of "platonic" game on people that are very social and have nightlife/network value.

    some questions:

    - you bang the connector friend (probably a very fast SNL). how do you relationship management the friend and do not screw up the relationship with the connector? (avoid being too much assholish with the girl you banged eeven if she starts to act stupid)

    - how do you screen for the girl's connector value? how do you determine if is better to bang the girl, burn it to the ground or if it's better to make her a connector run the platonic frame on her and keep bang her friends.

    - how do you friend-managament the connector? imagine you start the exchange of value with a chick. you gets pussy and access to clubs, you introduce her high status people. how do you avoid she asking for too much and doing little? and how do you ask for what you want for her?

    1. Good questions Anonymous,

      Usually the connector has tons of non-serious friendships and only very few that are closer friendships. If i'm just banging a chick that's not as close of a friend to the connector, first of all I won't even tell her. She might view me take her number or she might even see me kino or makeout with her, but after that she won't see us interact much. She might ask something like "So are you guys still...? " and ill tell her something like "ehhh, i don't know..., who knows what it is or isn't" (something vague). After banging a couple of her friends and taking numbers/doing pickup in front of the connector enough, she'll know that you're a player and will stop asking and just assume that you're banging everything that walks.

      In the rare circumstance that you want to bang a closer friend of hers you should tread softly and make sure to the connector that you look legit and non-cheaty with her friend. I would make sure I really wanted to bang the chick badly and be on my toes with my game if I wanted to bang a friend that she's been friends with for more than a couple years. ll

      As far as screening girls for connector value, I don't do it. A girl is a connector or she's not. You cannot change a girl into one or make a regular girl be a connector for you. Again, a connector is naturally a HIGHLY social person, and they're rare. If you're in a small town where everyone knows everyone then connectors mean nothing to you cause everyone's connected. In a larger city they're still very rare to find. I've met about 4 in LA in the last 4 years.

      For friend management, I don't introduce her to high status people, I try and get her laid and talk her up to them. Sometimes i'll introduce her to high status dudes, but only if I think they'll want to fuck each other or they're important enough that she should have them on her roster of people she knows.

      How I avoid asking for too much and doing too little is I never ask at all. I simply offer the value I offer when we hangout and after that she'll want me around. Generally i'm being a cool guy and i'm making her look good just by having me as arm candy and telling people she's cool and awesome and whatever. I'm making the group laugh, being extra warm to those around me, showing love and concern, etc. Just using my social skills to help everyone have a great time when they're around me, that's plenty.

      Does this answer your questions?

  2. Great post! Something I have noticed that I think is connected to this is that certain women, if they are attracted to you but for some reason 'cannot have you for themselves' will hook you up with their girlfriends. I'm not quite sure of the inner workings of this process, but I think that one thing to bear in mind is that women, too, are looking at the social connector to screen men for them and hook them up with the ones who are going to show them a good time and not be douches.....
    So it's good to know the rules of the game - the social connector sees introductions as social "cards" that they can play in order to increase their own value. You need to position yourself as "available hot guy who is not a problem" and then they will "use" the situation of knowing you to THEIR advantage by doing favors for their girlfriends by introducing you to them.
    It's so true that these introductions can sometimes be like "golden tickets". It's good to bear in mind that hot women are always whining that there are not enough good, hot men out there and so when you come "pre-selected" it makes things so much easier.