Friday, December 30, 2011

Keeping it in check

Just got back from a two week trip to see the fam back in Iowa, and wow how things have changed with me in the three years i've been in Los Angeles.  When I showed up here I was pretty naive and I experienced quite the culture shock.  It took me about three months to get my bearings with the big city, and upon returning to Iowa three years later I got the opposite culture shock.  I even talked with a few people who I was friends with back then.  One specific friend asked me about what I was doing in Los Angeles and when I told him about what I do he gave me a response that I often get when talking about what I do.  In fact, this response is so common that just yesterday Brad and I got the same response from another guy when Brad talked about what we do.  That response is false bravado, and it's a problem among men that i'd like to touch on.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Confirm her Bullshit Insinuation

We've all heard weighted insinuations from women.  Questions like "Where have you been all night?" and "Did you just check her out?" often come weighted and serious in tone to make us feel like we've done something wrong when sometimes (okay, very few times) we actually haven't done anything wrong at all.  Either way, the girl doesn't really ever know what we're thinking until she sees us answer her, and that's where we as men seem to make TONS of fuckups that get us in trouble and end up painting a picture of our character that leads to more of the same bullshit insinuations.  Ouch!  So what's the best way to handle these so that we can come out on top instead of feeling guilty and looking bad?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

How to Tool Bachelorette Parties

There comes a time in every man's life where he walks into a situation and for some reason it seems like the whole room stops and looks directly at him.  It's probably because they did stop and they are looking.  Have you been there?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I opened 10 chicks in a row!

Today I woke up, got on 30/30 club to answer some posts from students, and I came upon a common scenario I wanted to write a little bit about.  A 30/30 club student wrote this:

"Went out to X street with my wings.  Went direct on everyone.  Most of the sets OPENED well initially, even the all girl sets, which is an improvement from the previous nights where only 30% opened well, while the remaining 70% would give me the cold shoulder or immediately tell me that they weren't interested.  However, after the opening, it felt like I just kept talking at them.  Felt like a dancing monkey trying to keep them engaged.  Didn't feel much of a connection."  

Does this sound familiar to you?  If so then read on...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Fuck 6 girls a week using this 1 Weird Trick!

So I was about to get up out of bed this morning when I noticed an ad at the side of my computer screen.  It read "Fuck 6 girls a week... using this 1 weird trick."  Then at the bottom of the ad it said "Free video reveals 1 weird trick that makes girls want to fuck you... no matter WHAT you look like."   Today I'm going to give you a REAL quick trick to really get laid with 6 girls a week.  Yes, it's possible and many guys do it, so here you go...

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Sex Trade

I had a great question from a student today and he had an issue that's a very common one so I'd like to share it with you guys.  First of all though, if you haven't read my post "How to NOT get into a relationship," I'd recommend you to read that first before continuing.  

The student said:  

I went on a day 2 with a girl to the beach. We made out there then went back to her house, but she said she only fucks guys she's in a relationship with. So I havent been talking to her much.  How can I deal with this?  

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

On Age

Over and over I get asked about age and how to handle it.  Students believe wholeheartedly that somehow their situation with their age is unique and that it needs special attention.  Well i'm here to tell you that your age isn't a big deal, and regardless of what it is i've got a surefire formula for the "age conversation" that works every time.  If you'd like to know it then keep reading...

Friday, September 16, 2011

On Insecurity

I wrote a bit in April about Insecurity and I would like to touch again on insecurity and specifically how it relates to experience level.  Now when I was an average frustrated guy, boy was I ever insecure.  I'd worry all the time about losing any girl I met, even if I was just orbiting!  My motivating force?  Fear.  All I could seem to think about was losing her to another guy.  I'd visualize her getting gorilla-fucked by some other random herculean man and it tore me apart.  Obviously it was happening and obviously she had the most screaming orgasm possible.  If you've seen the movie High Fidelity with John Cusack there's a great illustration of this type of thinking.  How can we change this thinking around?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Going Sexual

How do you "Go Sexual" with a girl?  When?

I just answered a form of this question on an online forum that I thought i'd share, cause it's been coming up a lot in the past couple days.  In fact, I just did a theory session with the Pickup Mansion students on Monday night where I talked about just this topic and as a result one of the students got a single night lay that very night.  In the meantime here's the question:

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Fuck Jake Pavelka

For about a year and a half now i've been bringing you the best advice I can muster right here in this blog.  I've covered everything from getting nude pics on your phone to how to be a ruthless player and steal chicks right out from under other guys.  I've given you my latest openers, tips on polarizing your game, tips on how to wade your way through the harshness of learning pickup while maintaining a clear head, and perhaps most importantly i've tried to warp your mindset and lifestyle through posts like "Quit Your Job... Now" and "She's not even in the fucking room!"

After all of this, i'm proud to announce....* drumroll *... that when you type in "jake p" in Google, that finally...  yes finally.... I have edged out the competition.  I am proud to announce that I now come in #1 on Google search results, before Jake Pavelka's You Tube videos.  Fuck Jake Pavelka!

Click here to follow me on Twitter

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Chat with Tyler Durden from RSD

Normally on Monday nights I teach the pickup mansion residents theory for about an hour, but last night I decided to switch things up and head out with them for the night to do a spot check on their game and spend some time not in hardcore workshop mode with them.  We hit a popular Monday night spot in Hollywood, did some chatting and some approaches, and later in the night Tyler Durden from Real Social Dynamics (RSD) showed up and we talked some game as well.

Monday, August 22, 2011

1 Trick for Not Getting Drunk

Ever in a situation where you're drinking with others and someone buys shots for the group but you don't want to drink yours?  This can be a rough situation.  On one hand you would love to accept someone's offer and give them the satisfaction they seek from buying for everyone, but you also don't want to get drunk or say no and be the guy who ruins the positive atmosphere.  You also know that getting too buzzed will hurt your game or cause you to feel like total dogshit the next day, so you don't want to drink.  What's the best move here?  Well fear not friends, your friendly dating coach/highly experienced drinker has a simple trick for you straight from behind the bar.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

She's a Slut Anyways...

Day to day I see a steady number of guys who have trouble with women and blame it on the woman consistently.  They say things like "Oh, that girl must've been on the rag" or "She's a slut anyway" or something to that effect.  Guess what dudes?  Maybe it's you that's the problem.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Which "Plenty of Fish" are biting?

I've been doing affiliate marketing for a few months now, and have compiled TONS of data on women through advertising on Plenty of Fish.  Literally my ads have been shown millions of times already, so I decided to share with you some interesting information i've found about the profiles of women who are actually "biting."  Here we go...

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Open Strong or Open Wrong

Lately i've been coming to the realization that many guys believe that when they approach a girl who is separated from them by some distance, they should appear "natural" when doing so.  For some, this means maybe taking a cell phone out and meandering around before approaching, and for others it might mean taking kind of a banana-like route over to a girl they're about to approach.  Either way most students will do an "aha" moment type of thing or act like they just happened to notice the girl, then they open.  In cases where you've got some "cover" or can do this covertly, I agree it's not a bad move.  However, if the only thing between you and the girl you're about to approach is ten feet, I strongly DISAGREE with any type of meandering around or other bullshit to try and appear natural!  I say if you're not opening strong, you're opening wrong.  Let me tell you why I believe this and how you can remedy the problem...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Letting Go and Breaking Up

Just had a suggestion in a comment on my last post asking if I would write about letting girls go, and how professionals (me specifically) deal with letting girls go whom we've had an emotional connection with in the past.  To cover all bases here, I wanna talk about not only dealing with post-breakup feelings, but also the pre-breakup and how i'll make the decision to actually breakup.  Here we go...

Monday, June 20, 2011

How many women have you slept with?

Ahhhh, the age-old question.  WTF does it mean and how should we answer it?  I think guys in general don't like this question because they fear giving the wrong answer.  We all hear this question and immediately start thinking about how not to answer it and what would happen if we did.  I've even heard formulas like "Well you take your number and if it's above 10 then you divide by 3 and add 2 and if it's below 10 then multiply by 3 and subtract 2."  Funny shit, but the fact that guys have developed this kind of methodology to answering this question is a testament to the weight it seemingly holds to a woman.  Afterall, if we tell her the real number, what if we can't handle what she thinks about it?  What if she won't date us because of it?

Friday, June 3, 2011

How to know where you stand with women.

No time for messing around today.  What i've got to talk about here is serious business for those of you still half-assing things.  Today's topic is burning shit to the ground, making for damn sure that the girl you're into is either in or out.  NO MIDDLE GROUND.  Burn the boats, there's no turning back!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Student's Big Decision

Hey guys,  I got a question today from a student in the 30/30 club about going exclusive with a kinky girl and I wanted to share it with you because I feel it's an important issue to learn for all guys.  Here it is:

Monday, May 23, 2011

The "One Lap Rule"

Ever spent time with your friends at a bar and seen a random guy pass your group like six times, just looking around?   Someone always says something like "Dude, that guy's walked by like 100 times already, WTF?" When guys are unaware or just first learning to approach, it's very common for them to unknowingly cut laps around bars, lowering the value others perceive them to have.   Usually this is a result of some creative avoidance from fear or other inaccurate social programming and can be fixed with a simple solution I like to call "The One Lap Rule."

Friday, May 20, 2011

I Believe

I believe that everyone in life chooses their level of happiness.  I believe that happiness results from understanding the things we want in life and being patient and motivated enough to form our lifestyle around getting them.  I believe that motivation comes from both inspiration and frustration at times, and regardless of which one we've got I believe we often still need the guidance and support of others as we go through the process of learning.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Being Social Without Booze.

I used to drink every time I went out for the night.  Many of you know I bartended for a couple years, and even before that I loved to drink.  It tastes great, I love the process of drinking, and it often got me in a social mood when I otherwise wouldn't have been social at all.  After over six years of drinking to get social I believed wholeheartedly that the booze (and even sometimes the drugs I took) were definitely the cause of my ability to be social and talkative.  But was booze really what got me in a social mood?

Friday, May 13, 2011

Cancun Street Video

After some attempts at adding a video feed from YouTube to my page, I've decided just to include videos as posts so that you don't have to watch videos of cats instead of me.  This video's from a year ago in Cancun at Spring Break.  I met a Spanish speaking girl and wrote my name and a smiley face on her chest and we're hanging out on the street watching a guy puke.  Super Awesome.

BTW... keep checking my blog.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Quit Your Day Job... Now!

America Sucks! The industry standard for your working life is 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year. You get 2 weeks vacation if you're lucky. Many people who choose to comply with this bullshit request from employers go through a period in their lives where they have little to no:

1. Self development
2. Personal/dating life
3. Fun
4. Vacation

Sound familiar? Are you a person who's crossing off days on the calendar 3 months before you go to Vegas for a weekend? I say fuck that, change it. It's just not worth it.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

She's Not Even in the Fucking Room!

Do girls ever catch you checking them out? Do girls know that you know they're around? How would a girl know that a guy's checking them out, and how does that make them feel? How does it affect your status/chances with them?

There's much talk in the dating community about how girls perceive men when they approach them. Some guys are worried that girls will know they like them by approaching, yet others proclaim that you might as well just use direct game and tell the girl you like her cause she knows anyway. I even contributed to a thread recently on a dating forum where I talked about not telegraphing interest to a girl in set and a student replied with the following:

Thursday, May 5, 2011

What to do when a girl texts you "Who is this?"

I've been getting a number of guys asking what they should do when they text a girl and get the response "who is this?"

The reason this is often difficult to figure out is because often questions and action come before actual thought. Guys often don't take the time to discern what the context of this question is, so they can't make a rational decision about what it means and what to do. Instead of blindly typing in a response that you've read online somewhere or gotten from asking a friend, I suggest stopping and really thinking about the context before texting or making any adjustments.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Skill Development - Paying the Price

A wise man once told me that the secret to success it to "Figure out the price you have to pay to get successful... and pay it." What i've learned is that the price of success is often a huge amount of failure. Not-so-surprisingly, many successful people share this view that success often comes from the courage to fail over and over.

Friday, April 29, 2011

21 New Catch Phrases

On my phone I keep a notepad file where I write out any catch or quippy phrases I hear or come up with so that I can reread them from time to time and implement them into conversation to see if they'll be productive for me. Today I thought i'd write out some of the ones in my phone to share them with you guys. These aren't fully tested, I just wanted to give you an idea of how i'll come up with new material. I'll hear something like the phrases below and start saying them in-field and after a bit of massaging, some of them end up as routines and some i'll just throw away. Feel free to comment any of your own if you want to. Hope you like'em!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Woman's way of apologizing: How to deal with emotional ploys for power

Girls are wrong sometimes. Yes, guys are wrong sometimes too, but for right now that's not important. For the purposes of this article, girls are wrong. The problem is that men often don't take into account that this is even a possibility because women are insanely good at clouding men's judgement during a discussion or an argument. They often use emotional ploys that men just aren't equipt to deal with. So how can we know when to stick up for ourselves and when not to? More importantly, how do we stick up for ourselves and how can we tell when a girl knows that she's wrong and is "apologizing" so that we can stop dominating her and move on?

Monday, April 25, 2011


Got this message from a student today in my inbox:

Hey Jake

Just wanted to tell you i lost my virginity a few months ago!!!! (finally)... I couldnt have done it without your help in the workshop I took. Just wanted to say thanks for all the help you gave me there!

I had 2 questions that i was wondering if you could help me with...

Im in a commited relationship now with this chick who is super cool; she is going to Italy for a little over a month. I want to keep dating her after she gets back cause she is cool as hell. Im just kinda worried about her going away to italy and fucking some other guy or something. Is there anything specific i should do before she goes or while shes there to help prevent something like this?

This girl also has a profile on a dating site; she told me about it. It says she is in a relationship on her page but she says guys always tell her shes cute and stuff on there. Is this just like an ego boost for her? trying to evoke jealousy? should i tell her to take this thing down or is it probably just harmless?

My response:

There's really nothing you can do to prevent a girl from fucking some other guy. The best thing for you to do is not mention that it's on your mind AT ALL FOR ANY REASON. Remember, even though you're not a guy with an abundance of women right now, abundance mentality is still the correct attitude to have. If this girl leaves, no biggie. You can replace her. Now abundance mentality is tough to have when this is just the first girl you've slept with, but you should try and resist the urge to be jealous as best you can, because if you nurture and act on these instinctual impulsive emotions you'll end up learning the hard way that all those actions do is cause hurt in your life.

In fact, these insecure feelings and the actions we take because of them are what causes One-itis among masses of guys. A guy meets a great girl, hooks up, and shortly after realizes he doesn't want to lose the girl. Because he doesn't want to lose her, he starts doing things to make sure he keeps her. He treats her extra nicely, goes out of his way for her, and starts guarding her from other guys talking to her, etc. This needy behavior becomes apparent to the girl and any good qualities she saw about her guy are overridden by a general sense that she's too good for him. The girl knows that she's the guy's only option and it's not an attractive thing to her. It's only a matter of time before she lets the guy go, telling him "I'm just not into you anymore" and he's left to wonder WTF happened as he jerks off using his own tears as lubricant for the next 6 months.

It's super normal as a guy to feel pressure to guard and protect your investment with a girl you're really into. I promise you though, the minute you choose to act on that feeling you are setting your own breakup in motion. Better to continue to show yourself abundance through continued sarging and dating until you've realized true abundance. Also, don't kid yourself here, the reality is that this relationship won't have the Disney ending you picture in your head anyway, so don't beat yourself up when it doesn't work. Instead, enjoy the time you've got with her and you'll be able to enjoy it for the longest time possible.

While this girl's in Italy for a month, I would plan on dating and meeting other chicks, and I would even tell her that the two of you should "take a break" while she's gone to take the pressure off the both of you. What better way to show yourself abundance than to act like an man with abundance acts! Then you've got a free pass to be single for a month too! This may not sound great to you now, but talk to me when you've been in a relationship 2 years :) In addition to all of this, the fact that you tell the girl that you're taking a break while she's gone will be very attractive to her.

As far as her dating profile, i'd not even mention it. Again, it's no big deal to you. If you tell her to take it down you'll appear controlling and insecure about her. Every girl in the world seeks to attract guys through talking about all kinds of guys who want her, it's very normal. They do it because it's true, and because jealousy is a powerful motivating factor among women and men alike. In reality most girls do have several guys that want to fuck them, but she IS with you, right? Remember, you're different because you're not needy, not insecure, not jealous, and generally not a social retard, so these guys don't matter to her at all. She's simply saying that other guys like her because she wants to show you she's desireable. She wants you to like her because she likes you! Act accordingly.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Are you a hermit?

Last week I went to an old friend's place whom I hadn't seen in quite some time, and when I walked into his condo it looked horrendous. Buried in a mountain of projects, he had everything from paint cans to tarps to cardboard boxes just hanging out in his place. There was really no room for anything including furniture, of which he had none. His walls were half painted and waiting to have the edges painted, and there was no rhyme or reason to any of the madness. One of the bedrooms in his house was empty if you don't count the leftovers from roomates of years ago, and the one he stayed in was dark and disheveled.

Upon further inspection, I learned that my friend had kicked out his old roomates, pretty much given up on girls, and had traded in his dream (good job, wife, kids, etc) for projects. He now had a car he was working on, his condo still to renovate, miscellaneous carpentry projects, mountain biking projects, and a mountain of cleaning that could be done. In addition to all of this, he was working around 60 hours per week, and when I asked him why his job took more than 40 hours to complete each week he said it was because he spent most of his time on the internet at work.

When I saw all of this I knew it was almost an emergency to stop this pattern and get him on the road to being more healthy. But how can you get out of this rut?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Approach through the bad results.

Are you having some trouble getting yourself motivated to approach, or you're just not approaching at all? I see this in a huge number of students! It's okay, you're not dead yet. Let me tell you what's going on.

The reason we don't approach is because the negative emotions we associate with approaching (and it possibly going wrong/causing us to have an unknown, possibly hurtful result) are outweighing the positive emotions that could result from the approach. Add in a bit of fear and you've got a cocktail that'll get you a hell of a "not now" buzz in a hurry.

So how can we get around this?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Setting and Maintaining Boundries

Every man should know how to effectively set boundries in a relationship. For those who aren't so clear about what a boundry is, it's something that you will or won't do in a relationship, or behaviors you will or won't accept from a woman you're in a relationship with.

Boundries are extremely important in relationships because the way we set boundries communicates the behaviors that we expect or don't expect to see, and the way we maintain those boundries determines amount of power and control that we will allow the woman to have in the relationship. Obviously we set boundries with even those we're not in a relationship with as well, but for this article i'm mainly going to focus on how to set and maintain boundries in a sexual relationship.

So how do we set up a boundry?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Facebook Closes are BULLSHIT! Here's why...

So you're starting to learn some dating skills and you start going out and at some point in time you ask a girl for her number, to which she replies "Well let's be Facebook friends, let me give you my name." You're like "SCORE! Just Facebook-closed a hottie, YES!!! I'm gonna fuck her in no time!" You're an excited guy about this seeming success, but how does it go after that?

Well ideally you'd message or chat the girl, then get her real number and talk over the phone, arrange a meetup, then go out and eventually have sex. The problem with this is that even though it sounds promising to facebook close a girl, the reality is that it's going to be much more difficult for you than you might think. Let's look at this situation more closely and examine what's REALLY happening.