Monday, August 22, 2011

1 Trick for Not Getting Drunk

Ever in a situation where you're drinking with others and someone buys shots for the group but you don't want to drink yours?  This can be a rough situation.  On one hand you would love to accept someone's offer and give them the satisfaction they seek from buying for everyone, but you also don't want to get drunk or say no and be the guy who ruins the positive atmosphere.  You also know that getting too buzzed will hurt your game or cause you to feel like total dogshit the next day, so you don't want to drink.  What's the best move here?  Well fear not friends, your friendly dating coach/highly experienced drinker has a simple trick for you straight from behind the bar.


When I bartended back in the midwest, I was constantly bought shots that I was expected to take with the patrons of my bar.  Though I could obviously take a free shot if I wanted to and i'd obviously rather have the money anyway, somehow folks who are getting drunk always seemed to want some company along their journey into alcoholic oblivion.  Who better than the bartender to take that journey with, right?  The problem with this is that I wouldn't just take one shot in a night because of this.  Instead, if I accepted everyone's shots I would end up taking fifteen or more throughout the night, and since I worked most every night you can imagine that this got really old for me really quickly.

To remedy this whole thing I started having a beer open next to me at the bar all night while bartending.  When people would buy me a shot I would take it with everyone else normally then chase it with a swig of my beer.  Some would argue it's a slightly pussy thing to chase a shot, but oh well, everyone was still happy.  What I was really doing though was completely different than that.  I had my "beer" half full with water when I didn't want to be drinking, and when we all took the shot I would lean my head back just like everyone else, then not swallow it and just spit the shot out into the beer.  To everyone else it looks like I just took the shot and chased it, but really I didn't drink anything.  At the end of the night my payoff was that I felt good, wasn't drunk driving, and I could wake up and hit school in the morning with a clear head.

When you use this trick like i've done so many times, you're going to end up having a beer that's got a shot in it, so after you "take" your shot like this, head to the bathroom and pour your beer out in the stall, then grab another one next time the waitress comes around.  If you get another beer from the bar, order a water with it and chug the water before heading back to the table.  You'll may waste three quarters of a beer from time to time using this method, but in the end you'll be way more sober than the group, you'll have your head about you when it's time to make some game-type decisions later on, and you'll wake up in the morning feeling happier and healthier about your decisions from the night before.  Cheers!


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3 comments:

  1. Lol, I saw this trick in the movie Coyote Ugly...

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  2. I learned everything I know about picking up chicks from that movie. My next post will be entitled "How to Bang Piper Perabo."

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  3. Guess I'll need to start ordering PBR, so I don't feel bad about wasting it.

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