Thursday, December 22, 2011

Confirm her Bullshit Insinuation

We've all heard weighted insinuations from women.  Questions like "Where have you been all night?" and "Did you just check her out?" often come weighted and serious in tone to make us feel like we've done something wrong when sometimes (okay, very few times) we actually haven't done anything wrong at all.  Either way, the girl doesn't really ever know what we're thinking until she sees us answer her, and that's where we as men seem to make TONS of fuckups that get us in trouble and end up painting a picture of our character that leads to more of the same bullshit insinuations.  Ouch!  So what's the best way to handle these so that we can come out on top instead of feeling guilty and looking bad?


To better understand what to do in these situations we first have to understand why girls ask them, and in my opinion the answer really depends on the time (in the relationship) that the girl is asking.  For instance, if you get asked a question like this during an approach, the girl is likely testing you trying to figure out if she likes you, and a "correct" answer will yield a positive reaction from her like a laugh.  You'll get some attraction as a result.  On the other hand, if you're dating a girl or in a relationship with her and you hear something like this, the reason is still because she's testing you, but this time she probably really wants to gauge your guilt level so she can decide how into her you are and whether or not you're still a long-term option for her.  She probably also knows that you're attractive to other women and she might seriously suspect you of doing some looking around or even some sleeping around.

Whatever the case, the proper answer is always to use confusion game to set ourselves apart from other men.  When a women asks me a question that insinuates (or subcommunicates) that i'm engaging in nasty, unacceptable behavior, I like to figure out exactly what nasty behavior she's accusing me of doing and then tell her that i'm doing exactly that.  I also like to make my answer an absurd version of whatever happened so that the girl can't possibly believe it's true.  Advanced students can even follow all this up with a few more sentences and make the whole thing into an absurd story of what happened.

For instance, let's use an example where I'm dating a girl and I was supposed to call her after getting home from the bar on a Friday night but I didn't.  The following morning we meetup to head to breakfast and right when she gets in the car she looks directly at me and asks me "So what were you doing last night that you couldn't call me when you got home?"  Wow, quite the zinger.  Pause right now and ask yourself what you would say in this situation.  What were you doing?

Many guys in this situation would answer the girl's question in an attempt for it to go away.  If you answered something like "I'd tell her I got drunk" or "I'd tell her I just forgot" then you're just like 99.9% of guys out there and you're in trouble!  First of all, just by simply answering her question you've given it validity, and you've essentially admitted wrongdoing.  HEY DUMBASS!  Don't do that shit!  Now she's got reason to suspect you're wrong and leverage to gain power over you in the relationship just because you engaged in her line of questioning.  Guess what?  She was just acting in a dominant way, and you acted in a submissive way.  Ouch.  Now she's the police in your life and in position to domineer over you anytime she chooses to ask more of these questions.  Double ouch.  This may not sound like a very serious matter to you, but it certainly is.

Instead of doing all this, the correct answer is to just confirm whatever you think she's accusing you of.  This means if she asks me "So what were you doing last night that you couldn't call me when you got home?" and I think she's accusing me of getting too drunk I'd answer her "I was actuallly super drunk and I banged a random girl, so I totally forgot about you."

A more advanced guy might draw the response from her out by using a story.  It'd go something like "Well listen... I wanted to talk to you about that.  See last night I went out with my friend Joe (she knows this guy), you know Joe right?  Well this guy Joe and I, see we went out with the full intention of being the best most nicest guys ever.  We were gonna just walk around sipping Fiji waters all night, not go into any bars at all, and just try and do stuff like walk old ladies across the street and put our coats down in puddles for girls, you know, the norm.  But then at about 10:30 we saw this very scantily clad group of women walking down the street and we just had to follow them into the bar.  Before you know it, we had taken so many shots that the best option was to just snort massive amounts of cocaine and have a sweaty, raw dogging orgy with them behind this dumpster in an alleyway behind bar.  I think i'm safe though cause the girl that had the red dots all over her vagina said they were just from shaving.  So what place you wanna hit for breakfast?"

Got it?  The idea here is to make the situation so ridiculous that the girl feels dumb for even asking in the first place.  She'll also realize through your un-reactivity that you don't feel threatened by her weighted question, thus communicating your innocence.  This whole process essentially cuts through her bullshit and maintains your dominant position in the relationship.  It's confusion game because you've withheld information from her and she's left wondering what you did do.

Sometimes after this a girl will say something like "No really, what did you do?" or "You know what I mean" after this type of story and in these cases you can just answer with the regular answer like "Joe and I went to X bar and watched this band" or whatever.  I'll usually follow it up with "Awww, you're cute.  Are you like super worried i'm gonna cheat on you or something?"  By finally isolating and addressing the feeling that caused her to ask you the question in the first place, you've been able to demonstrate that you are aware of and understand her thoughts, feelings, and concerns.  Nice job man!

One final note here on tone.  Generally when i'm saying the story part of this i'm answering her question in a serious and nonchalant manner.  When paired with the extremely absurd things i'm saying this combo holds quite a zing.  If you want to see a good example of this, checkout the movie Waiting, with Ryan Reynolds.  In the movie, him and a friend are at the dinner table with his mom when he tells her an absurd story about him banging a hooker while taking the lords name in vein.  This is the best example you'll get of this tone without seeing me personally, which obviously you're always welcome to do.

By learning and practicing how to respond to weighted questions in the right manner, we can effectively maintain dominance in our relationships, quell any worry our women have about our actions, and have some fun while we're doing it.  The reality is that women think about us a lot when we're not around, and they just want to have some peace of mind and feel safe in their relationships, especially when their man isn't around.  Handle these situations effectively and soon enough you'll be able to keep them around as long as you'd like.


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3 comments:

  1. Red dots all over her vagina??? Priceless!!! I'm stealing that one.
    GlennP

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  2. Wait... Stealing the red dots? YOu don't want them dude, trust me :)

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  3. It seems like Hank Moody does a good job of this too. Here's an example from season 3.

    Felicia: You know, far be it for me to pass judgment on your recreational activities, but maybe you should make your dope a little less accessible. I mean, what else do I have to worry about? Do you have guns in the house, too?

    Hank: Yes I do, but I keep them in the freezer. Right next to the heroin.

    I just added Waiting... to my queue. After reading some of the reviews, let's hope I don't regret it. :)

    ReplyDelete