Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I Passed out While Fucking

So i'm taking a break from writing my Texting e-Book to write this post...

 Germany just won the World Cup!  WOOHOOO!  Many of you know that I travel quite a bit, and one of the trips I took was to Germany in 2006 to watch the World Cup.  The excitement, the people, and the worldwide party turned me into a fan of the event of Soccer altogether...

And that's why I drank 22 Heinekens during the game... and passed out at 3am while having sex with a girl i'm dating.  

So here's what happened...

As I passed out, or from here on out what will be referred to as "fell asleep" (which arguably is really what happened), she said something to the effect of "OMFG!  Did you just fall asleep while inside of me?!?"

We then had a short-lived discussion where I tried to explain that it's quite reasonable to fall asleep at 3 am after drinking 22 beers.  Afterall, I'm tired!  Also, I don't do drugs and I haven't been drinking caffeine, so beer and water starting at 11am isn't exactly a formula to stay up all night.

So what did she do?  She left, and I fell asleep.    She was pissed off.

Today she texted me asking if she could stop by.  I said yes and she did, and I explained again to her that it was pretty reasonable to do what I did.  She argued that it made her feel bad, and okay I get that.  I explained that I remember telling her I was tired and it was her turn to be on top, and when I did she said no because she thought I would fall asleep.  Then I fell asleep while inside of her.

Well that worked out great didn't it?

Now, all this stuff we talked about is all fine and dandy.  The situation sucked and she felt bad and blah blah, whatever.   If i'm her, I don't think it's a very emotionally sound choice to allow myself to feel bad about myself under those circumstances with a guy, but that's her choice not mine.

What i'm not fine with is what happened next.  Next, she told me that I was on probation or something to that effect, meaning that I don't get any sex until she decides so.  What a horrible terrible option this is for a girl to decide to do with me.

What's the girl's logic here?  "I'll deny him for awhile to teach him not to do that so that I don't feel bad again?"  Dumb dumb dumb idea!  I'll just go fuck other women and wait till she wants to hangout, then i'll tell her no i'm not hanging out while i'm on probation.  "Just let me know when i'm off probation Mrs. Lieutenant Sex Police... then maybe we can hangout."  I'll make her try a couple times to hangout and i'll just "have plans" already.  Then if when we hangout she denies me, i'll not hangout for like a month, and if she continues not to contact me for any reason (which she won't because i'm an in-demand guy) then that's fine too.

This is a very small and ill-thought out attempt at dominance from a woman.  The correct thing for her to do would be to communicate effectively about what happened, get over it, and move on.  Maybe say something like "Well although it made me feel like I wasn't attractive to you and it wasn't a fun experience for me, it makes sense that after all day of drinking that this could happen.  I'll try not to take it personally next time."

THIS WHOLE THING REALLY ISN'T THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DEAL.

Brad and I joke about this kind of a scenario all the time where women withhold sex.  We talk about how weird it is to us.  He'll act like we're talking to each other about the types of women we like and he'll say:

"You know what I like?  I like the type of woman who doesn't have sex with me.  Usually when a girl doesn't have sex with me i'll like her more, cause that's what I want in life, a woman who won't have sex.  I also really like a woman who moderates how much sex we have and doesn't give it to me when she's mad.  Oh yeah, because I like women who are mad a lot too and who maintain grudges for extended periods of time too even after we communicate about it.   That's fun too.  It makes my life so much better and makes me want to stay with her forever."  

Haha!

The lesson here is that the abundant man is always dominant.

I'll be sure and keep you posted on what happens, so keep reading my blog.  Oh!  And i'm still doing free consultations this month, so shoot me an email at jakepulls@gmail.com and we can schedule you in for one.  I'm definitely busy doing these right now, but i'll get you in.



EDIT:  

Okay that was quick.  She just texted me:

Her:  I just masterbated and took a long shower... I feel a lot better now.  Apparently i'm super sexually frustrated due to the lack of your penise and irritated that I was so looking forward to you and was so enjoying you being inside of me that I freaked when you fell asleep and weren't enjoying what I was enjoying and that it had to stop

Her:  It has been like over two weeks since we've had a proper crazy sex session and not a quicky

Me:  I can understand that.  I'm glad you communicated that with me :)  seems like a better option to talk about it than to become the mad sex-witholding chick...

Me:  That just pushes us apart

Me:  And the spelling is P E N I S !  Not sure how you've missed that one your whole life... lol

Her:  It's fucking auto corrects fault!!

Me:  Suuuure it is...

Her:  (cute smiley)

Her:  I don't want to be "mad sex-withholding chick"... She sounds lame.  I get your side of it.  Thank you for getting mine

Me:  (3 kissy smiley faces with hearts by the lips)

---------------------------

You guys getting this?  Now I frame her as narrowly having avoided becoming labeled as a crazy sex withholding chick, then I frame such an action as something that would push us apart, which sub-communicates that sex makes us closer (which it does).  After that I return us to normal by making fun of her and having a mini-dominance struggle.  What's a dominance struggle?  I'll explain in detail, in..... you guessed it!  My texting e-book.  Talk to you guys soon.

And still feel free to comment.  How do you feel about this whole thing and what do you think about the way I handled it?  Do you think she'll ever withhold sex from me again???

1 comment:

  1. The Germans would disown you for your shitty taste in beer. But otherwise, excellent post!

    ReplyDelete