We've all heard the terrible excuses women give us not to hangout, and we know they're complete bullshit. "I know honey, I know. You're deathly ill, you have a family emergency, your friend just broke up and you stayed over at her place last night, your grandma called, and your dog ate your fucking homework... Now how the hell am I supposed to deal with all of your crap and still keep my sanity? "
In the beginning of a relationship, dealing with a woman's excuses can be very challenging, especially when you're sure her excuse is bad. Does she like me? Or is she trying to make me get the hint and go away? Today I wanna offer up a strategy not only for dealing with the excuses, but for understanding what they mean when you get them.
But first lets talk about how to recognize a shitty excuse when you get one. The other day I was supposed to hangout with a girl and she texted me at 3pm saying that she had a family issue and she wasn't sure how long it would take. She offered to reschedule for yesterday or today with me.
Is this a bullshit excuse or is it the truth?
Well let's talk it out. Can she have a family issue? Sure, it's possible. But how long could it possibly take? We've hungout before until 2am, so she can't call me if the issue is over at 10pm, even 12pm? Does she honestly have a 9 hour family issue? No, she doesn't.
A girl will always make time for you when she wants to hangout with you, regardless of how busy she is.
So why then would this girl tell me this loosely plausible excuse?
Women give bad excuses because they don't want you to know the truth about what's really going on for whatever reason. The only truth I need to know according to her is that she can't hangout. She gives me the somewhat loosely plausible excuse to guard my feelings. Maybe the girl doesn't wanna hangout that day cause she's in a bad mood. Maybe she's hungover. Maybe something better came up and she thinks it would hurt my feelings to tell me she wants to go. Maybe she's on the rag and wants it to pass before we hangout next so that she doesn't have to have bloody sex with me. Who knows.
The reality of the situation is:
1. She's not hanging out likely no matter what I do
2. Maybe I don't really wanna know the truth and she's guarding me from it
3. No matter what I do, i'll likely not ever be able to know what happened anyways
Understanding these three things, when we get an excuse our strategy should become just to chill out a bit and wait. No worries. I like to give the girl all the space and flexibility that she wants, knowing that sooner or later she'll be drawn to me because I let her have her own life apart from me.
I never push a woman to hangout when she's given me an excuse, and I never question the excuse itself or call her on it if I think it's bullshit. I simply accept the excuse from her, think about it in my mind, decide if it's bullshit, keep my opinion to myself, and remember the excuse so that if I start to see a longer term pattern I can adjust my game accordingly. That's it.
In general, I try to trust her and give her the benefit of the doubt.
When a girl gives an excuse she knows she's doing it, and she knows on some level that it's going to be her responsibility to follow up with me and make plans for the next hangout if that's what she wants. For this reason I usually will wait a few days before texting her back to ask for plans again. Sometimes I don't text her back and I just move on. You'd be surprised how many women will text back once they realize you're not going to text them.
The reality is that when a women gives you a bad excuse and doesn't follow up, it's very likely that she doesn't want to go out with you.
When a woman gives a bad excuse and offers up plans for another day or time, you can safely conclude that she just couldn't meet up with you for whatever reason. I know you're horny and you want to have sex like now, but do your best to chill out and wait, and you'll have a more pleasant experience with her when you do. Not to mention that she'll appreciate how chill and trusting you've been with her.
So, next time you're thinking about freaking out or asking a girl details about her excuse because you're insecure and you think she's lying, just remember she's likely giving you a bullshit excuse to guard your feelings or because she's possibly got some woman issue she isn't flattered about letting you in on. And if it's not one of those, just accept that you'll probably never know and try to let it go. I like to send her something along the lines of:
"No worries babe, if there's anything I can do let me know..."
Then I just wait.
Thanks for reading today! I'm still offering a free one-hour consultation on the phone or in person if you live in or can travel to the Hollywood area. Simply email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll set it up. Hope you've enjoyed reading.