Thursday, September 17, 2015

Identity and Identity Development

I hear the same question all the time from men...  "How can I have an attractive identity and how can I use that identity to get women?"  Today I wanna give you a simple formula that'll keep women entering your life for years to come...


The men i've witnessed who are the most successful with women all have some things in common with their identities.  I wanna cut the crap here and give you guys the best formula i've found.  Here are the guidelines for what a successful part of your identity looks like.

1.  Your job or activity should be a sexy stereotype
2.  While at your job or activity, you naturally meet new women and also see women repeatedly
3.  You spend an amount of time with the women you meet
4.  You naturally touch women as a part of your activity
5.  You lead, own, run, manage, what you're doing
6.  You have keys to the place and can fuck there after-hours.

Okay, so let's talk about these a bit and let me give you a few examples.  First off, there aren't many identities in the world where all of these requirements are met.  I'd say you should aim for as close to having all five of these that you can.

The first identity I wanna talk about is that of a tattoo artist.  It's definitely a sexy stereotype.  A tattoo artist naturally has new women he's meeting on a regular basis.  He spends time with them, often repeatedly.  He naturally is touching the women he meets, and it's required that he does so.  If the tattoo artist owns his shop, then he's viewed as a leader and someone who has adequate money to support a woman (this is a plus), and if he's got the keys to the place then he can give a girl the experience of fucking in a tattoo shop if he so chooses.

Nice work, tattoo dude!  Good job on picking shit!

Now onto all you motherfuckers who take salsa lessons.  Okay, I get it.  Salsa dancing isn't gay!  You all say.   Well that's debatable, lol, but it does meet numbers 2, 3, and 4.  It could be a sexy stereotype, but i'd say maybe only for a hot latin dude or something.  If you're a 50 year old grey-haired white dude you ain't no sexy stereotype, man.  I'm talking about a STEREOTYPE!  A cliche!  Something they would put in a movie.  So if you wanna do salsa lessons i'm fine with it, but work towards being a fucking badass at it if you're gonna do it.

Which brings me to my next point... cred.

Cred is the shit.  Cred is developing your identity for years and years and acquiring skill over decades so that you can do shit that nobody else can.  When I think about cred I often think of Jesse James.  Not the outlaw Jesse James, the car and bike builder guy who was married to Sandra Bullock for awhile.  This fucker has amazing cred.  He takes a flat piece of metal and bangs on it and shapes it with his bare hands using metal shaping and bending tools like an English Wheel.  If you don't know what that is, it's a huge contraption used to bend shapes into metal.  You put gloves on (big thick ones) and you push and pull a piece of metal through these rollers over and over for hours, and the skill of doing this efficiently takes years and years to master.  And this is just one skill!  Cred is the fact that Jesse James has every car and bike guy skill like this one, and he's been on TV for it... for years!

Many of you know that I myself build cars and bikes.  I built a super rare muscle car from a shell.  Every nut and bolt.  It took me 7 months of Bob Seger and weed to get that bitch done, and now I roll around in Hollywood with it.  That's cred.  It's a smaller version of it than Jesse James has, but I still built that bitch from scratch, and not many men can say they've done that.

So back to your gay salsa lessons.  Sorry i'm being harsh today, but i've just kinda in the back of my mind always thought that dancing was kinda gay and today i'm venting.  No I don't think you're gay and no you shouldn't stop doing it, but if you're gonna do it as a major part of your identity, get some cred with it!  Own a dance place.    Work to be recognized as some kinda pro or something (if they have that).  I'm just arguing for you that if you really want a solid identity, make that shit!  Don't just show up Tuesday nights, dance with 150 lb. Rosa, and say you're a salsa dancer to a chick.  She'll see right through it the second she shows up with you.

And again here, i'm talking about developing a strong, rooted identity that naturally gets you women.  If  you wanna occasionally go dance, then do it.  But have at least one part of your identity that you work on that's unique and sets you apart from other men.  Do something that if someone wanted to copy you it would take them years to do it.

Okay, back to other identities.  Let's talk about a fireman for a second.  Could the stereotype be any sexier?  Chicks love firemen.  For god sakes man, they save puppies and old ladies from burning buildings and shit.  They get cats outta trees!  Do they meet new women though regularly and are they required to touch them?  Not really.  It's not like women burn their house down more than once either, so a fireman isn't seeing women regularly.  In my book, this one doesn't deserve full development to cred level.

You know what occupation I see guys get laid a lot at?  A hairstylist.  My good buddy Glenn over in NYC has a great gig.  I think it rivals and maybe is even a bit better than a tattoo artist.  It nails all six areas, and i'd be willing to bet my left testicle that there are more than a few women who wouldn't mind coming in after hours for some quick trim.

Alright, so i've kinda been wandering around this post today aimlessly, but I wanted to throw this out there because I find myself discussing attractive identity to many of my clients and it seems that most men have it wrong.  If you want to constantly have a life filled up with more women than you can possibly handle, then choose a path that gets you there.  Choose strategically, then work hard at gaining cred.  And obviously, do something you love to do.

Until next time.

4 comments:

  1. What about yoga teacher / yoga studio owner. Bartender / Bar Managing Partner

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    Replies
    1. Gimme your rundown using the formula I talk about. What do you think?

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  2. Jake,

    What if some one has a white collar job like a lawyer or doctor? How does one build a sexy identity unless one looks like George Clooney from ER.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well your job and your money is handled when you've got these jobs, so I would focus more on what you do in your off hours then trying to have the doctor stereotype. In other words, fuck you if you're showing up to the bar in your scrubs. Guys like that should scrub my crotch after a 4-some and 6 games of croquet.

      Instead of being that guy, take up hobbies and have an identity aside from your job that fits as many of the criteria as possible. Remember this post is more about something ive observed than something that you MUST do to be successful. These dudes get success because of the criteria, so if you can merge what you love with some of the criteria then great, but being a yoga guru who is not and runs a class and being a doctor aren't mutually exclusive.

      Delete