Thursday, December 10, 2015

Being Good Looking with Pockets full of Money

Everyone talks all day long about how if you're good looking and you have a lot of money that you can get women.  Of course we've all seen some ugly dude with a hot chick, but is he really sleeping with her?  Or haven't you seen a really good-looking guy who never really gets a hot girlfriend and instead dates down?  Why is all this shit happening and what's going on?  What can you do to maximize your chances of getting a hot girl?  If you're interested in all of this, read on...First, a couple of examples.  I happen to know a couple of real-deal Swedish supermodels here in Los Angeles, and recently one of them has been posting pictures of her and him together.  The dude is ugly, and my friends and I have discussed this.  Well, at first I thought that this supermodel friend of mine was probably just using him for his money, but the reality is that this guy turns out to have a cool identity and good style to go along with his money.  Without going into too much detail, he has a very successful company, and i've seen several pictures of him and his "look" is pretty killer to be honest.  He looks great, even though his face is, well, holy shit it's bad.  It's worse than yours, trust me.  

His advantages:  His drive has produced success in his life.  Money came with it.  Yes, this is a big advantage.  His style, however he got it, is another huge advantage.  

His disadvantages:  He's super ugly.  He's short, like shorter than her by a good bit. 

The lesson we can learn from all this?  Well, this guy is definitely doing something right because he's got a hot hot girlfriend on his arm.  I would say this guy has maximized his potential.  He dresses so well that when you look at him, you would definitely talk to him because how he looks commands at least enough of your attention that he can display his personality.  Obviously he is running in high social value circles as well, and here in Hollywood, the way you look combined with the place you're partying says a lot about you.  In his case he has managed to look good enough to get attention, then his  personality and confidence have taken him the rest of the way.  

There's also the matter of his social status.  When I asked about him, I realized that people hold him in high regard.  "He started and owns X thing, man.  He's a fucking millionaire and he's got like a 3 million dollar house in the hills."  This is what people say.  Well, when people are talking like that, yes it's about money, but owning a company that you started says a whole lot about who you are.  And when people talk about you like that, you're in great shape.  

However!  This guy could and probably does mess this up a lot.  He loses women because he's not the best looking, and when any piece of his formula falls apart, he's going to lose women because of that.  So don't go figuring that money has gotten this for him alone.  You're smarter than that.  This guy's mechanism for getting women is this:  

He's got:

1.  His pass into being talked to... aka his "look" or clothing, fashion, etc.  
2.  He uses this "pass" to get a few minutes of conversation with hot women.
3.  Whatever he's saying during his conversation.  Sometimes he'll be able to communicate his advantages and sometimes he won't.  
4.  If his conversation doesn't work, he's got a reputation.  He's successful and has money, and if the woman has heard about this or ends up asking someone about him, she'll find this out.

Not too shabby.  I'd say this is a spectacular result for a guy this ugly.  

Now for the next example.  

Have you ever seen that man-bun guy all over the internet?  His name is Brock O'Hurn and he's a ridiculously hot guy who puts his hair in a man-bun on the internet and he's now gotten his 15 minutes of fame for it.  Well, I've heard from women I know in Hollywood that whatever party this guy is at, he's always talking with, and I quote, "the ugliest girls in the room."  Rumor has it that this guy isn't maximizing the value he apparently offers.  Hmmmmm.....

His advantages:  Everyone knows this guy is apparently the hottest dude ever.  He's experienced a small level of success just for being hot.  His style is a huge advantage as well, just like the other guy above.  This guy doesn't have to try that hard because of his looks.

His disadvantages:  People expect greatness from him because of his looks.  When they don't see it, they talk negatively about him.  After all, what has this asshole REALLY done?  Well, he's got some proving to do with each person he meets.  

The lesson we can learn from my assumptions about this dude?  Whatever the quality you see in any man that you think gets him women, well that's only PART of the equation!  Really?? Do you still believe it's just one thing and people are one-dimensional?  C'mon...

So this is a spectacular looking man who is fucking things up a lot in the opinions of the women around him.  Ouch!  It's going to be super easy for this guy to be held in low social status because people expect a lot out of those who are naturally good looking people.  Realistically i'm sure this guy does get with some hot women from time to time and likely with little effort, but he's not cashing the fuck in like the guy above.  This guy is likely dating down (meaning he dates lower than his perceived value level).  

He's got almost the same things as the guy above.  Here's his list of things he has:


1.  His pass into being talked to... aka his "look" or clothing, fashion, etc.  
2.  He uses this "pass" to get a few minutes of conversation with hot women.
3.  Whatever he's saying during his conversation.  Sometimes he'll be able to communicate his advantages and sometimes he won't.  
4.  If his conversation doesn't work, he's got a reputation.  He's somewhat successful and likely doesn't have a lot of money, and if the woman has heard about this or ends up asking someone about him, she'll find this out.

I'd say this guy would be doing a lot better if he was driven and as confident in himself as the guy above from the first example.  

So let's assume for a second that these guys were side-by-side in a room.  What would happen?  

My guess is that the initial attention would go to the guy who is hot, and the secondary attention would go to the guy in our first example.  Women who were a bit more shallow and dumb (quite frankly) would opt for the hot guy, and someone with a bit more depth would go for the successful guy.  On any given night both of them might or could get laid, but my guess is that the guy in the first example has to put in a lot more effort, like dates, going out, etc before he's getting laid.  And that's simply because when a woman meets a guy like that, he's not producing the immediate "I must fuck this guy" response in the women.  He IS getting super hot women though, and likely keeping them.  

So who would you rather be?  

Well since you're reading my blog, you're probably not either one of these dudes, so the answer doesn't matter.  The important thing in all of this is that both of these guys have #1.  They have their "pass" into being talked to.  They both don't lose women simply because of the way they look.  They look good enough to be talked to, and women will give them both a chance.  

Saying this yet another way, you have just as much of a shot at an extremely hot woman as the supermodel dude across the room, but if you're an ugly guy or you're overweight or whatever your problem might be, if you want a hot woman you're going to have to get your look down so that you're viewed as a guy who deserves a shot at whatever woman you might talk to.  

When I give a guy a makeover, I always try to communicate a message through the clothing I choose for him.  That message holds information about his socio-economic status, and when a woman finds out more about a man, she should not be surprised at the way he is dressing himself.  In other words, if he's a construction worker i'm not dressing him up in a suit.  

Choose clothing that is plausibly consistent with your identity.  

Also when I give a makeover, the goal is always to perfectly balance the masculine and feminine characteristics of the man.  "Wait, feminine?"  you say?  Yes.  We've all seen 90's hair metal dudes with pink and shit on, but more subtly, when you see a guy with a polo shirt on and some reading glasses and maybe some khaki capri pants on with loafers, no socks, and a sweater around his neck, you say things like "look at that fag!"  because you're recognizing that this man has a lot of feminine characteristics going on in his look.  

So again, you should seek to balance the feminine with the masculine.  A perfect balance leads people to view you as a well put-together man.  

I saw a guy in the green juice place a few weeks ago on Santa Monica and I was immediately jealous of the way he looked and how well put-together he was (and yes I do look at mens fashion and i'm not gay for it lol.  Hey, you want a good makeover or what????)..

Okay so this guy had a man-bun, oliver peoples glasses, a think wool v-neck sweater, some bland levis, and some chukkas.  He had on a leather band watch on his left wrist and some small wood beaded bracelet and a small turquoise beaded bracelet on his right wrist.  The glasses, long hair, the accessories, and bun are feminine aspects that he balanced with a thicker than normal beard, his sweater was feminine as well, and the combination of hair, bun, glasses, and sweater could have made the whole look appear very WASP-y and stuck up were it not for his beard, muscles, masculine shoes, and his normal looking non-prissy levis jeans.  Because of his balance, the guy looked fantastic.  

So my question to you today is what aspects of your outfit are masculine, what aspects are feminine, how is your balance of the two, and are you getting a "pass" into your first few minutes of attention from a girl?  Do women feel compelled to give you a bit of attention even though you may have some obvious disadvantage like being ugly?  Or do women shut down a lot the second they meet you?  

If you're still at the point where you're only having a few seconds of conversation with the women you meet before they exit, then it's highly likely that you don't have your pass into the show yet.  You're still the guy outside of the rock show who is trying to buy a ticket from someone, and if you don't have your ticket you're not going inside.  

So get your ticket.  Get your pass.  It's the first step in this process of getting better with women.  Yes, your identity is important, but cultivating your identity takes time, effort, and patience.  Your fashion is something you can do TODAY to drastically raise your chances with women.  

Now I know you likely suck at this, and I sucked at this for a long time as well.  It took me a few years before I was aware enough about fashion to be giving effective makeovers and even to this day i'm still constantly working on my fashion.  So if you're a guy who needs to start caring about this more, i'd recommend the place to start is just to start keeping your eyes open for guys who you can mimic.  Look for someone who is your same size and stature and who has an outfit and a look that have impact to you.  Look for a guy who looks like you and has a hot woman on his arm, then ask yourself what he's doing that you could emulate.  Tell him you're a fashion blogger or tell him whatever lie you can to get his picture, then buy that exact shit for yourself or choose to emulate a few pieces of his look.  Maybe checkout some fashion blogs online as well or try and find a celebrity who looks like you and dress in what they dress in.  

The whole point of this post is that we don't want to get excluded from meeting hot women simply because of the way we look, and I find so often in my students that this is the case.  They're simply communicating many many bad qualities by the way they dress and quite frankly it's unnecessary to lose women when fashion advice is something that is so readily accessible in the modern day.  Much much more difficult is the path to find this very blog or to find information about what things you're doing wrong socially and conversationally with women.  

So get your fashion on, dudes!  There's no excuse for not looking amazing, even if you're an ugly dude.

Cheers. 

 

2 comments:

  1. Could you please explain "depth of personality" and if caring about looks as a man vs caring about looks as a women reflects differently on someone's "depth of personality"?

    This is in reference to:
    "Women who were a bit more shallow and dumb (quite frankly) would opt for the hot guy, and someone with a bit more depth would go for the successful guy."

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    1. Any chance you could elaborate a bit on your question? I'm just referencing that in my experience women who aren't as smart tend to value looks over success in my experience. In other words I believe they would tend to choose a "hot" guy over a successful uglier guy. I also believe that the dumber someone is, the stronger this holds true. Again i'm talking about hot women, not ugly people in general. Then all bets are off.

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