Seems like there's always some girl in each and every guy's past who he wonders if he could ever have back. Maybe the timing wasn't right the first time but the attraction was there, or maybe for whatever reason there wasn't closure and now the relationship feels oddly unresolved. Well, the reality is that to move on, sometimes it's a great idea to reach out one more time to the girl and see how she responds to you. After all, circumstances can and do change in women's lives, and if she changed maybe it's for the better. Wanna find out? Here's how to reach back out to the woman or women you're thinking about.
So first off let's clear up your mind here. Some of you are thinking that this might be a creepy thing to do or might make you look bad. In your mind, you don't want to look worse than you did before to her, and you certainly don't want to look needy or desperate. So how do we solve this?
Simple. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!
Dude, she's already gone. Although some girls will reach back out to guys from time to time, it's not common. She'll reason herself out of messaging you the same way you talk yourself out of messaging her. She'll think "Oh, he's probably moved on" or blah blah blah. So the first thing to realize here is that if you don't take any action and reach out in some way, you'll get exactly nothing in return. Ouch.
The positive side of this is that you'll be surprised how many women actually will be open to re-kindling something from the past. I can't count the number of times I'll take a simple action that will yield a fantastic result. The lesson:
Reaching out is a great way to make your social life happen in general. Asking people to all meet up at a specific spot or organizing a meet up or a party is a great way to build your own social life and social network. When you do it, you're the organizer and you're the one on top! Someone has to do it, right? And in this little group of you and (maybe) her, you're the leader... so lead.
Again, the worst that happens is you're in the same situation you were before, and now you've planted a small seed that might have the opportunity to grow. What I mean by this is that some small thought she has about you can turn into more thought and continued attraction, simply because you reached out in a small way.
How would you do this?
Well the first mistake guys make is instead of planting a small seed, they instead try to send her the whole forest. Please don't send her a love letter or start sending her needy or desperate texts like "I miss you so much" or "I still love you." I know sometimes we all have the urge to do these things, but making her curious by introducing yourself back into her life in a small way would be much much better for your cause.
So how do you reach out in a small way?
One of the smallest ways you can reach out is by simply liking one of her Facebook posts if you don't normally do that type of thing (and I would hope when you broke up or broke off with her you ceased all the liking of her posts, etc). When you like her post and she goes back through to see who liked the post (and she does), she'll see that you liked it and she gets to feel a little bit validated that you like it. More interestingly, if you haven't liked one of her posts in a long time, then the action you took makes her feel differently.
Now you're reintroduced to her and she gets to re-evaluate why. Are you single again after a breakup? Are you over your past bitterness and insecurity? Is this just a friendship gesture? All of these thoughts are going to go through her head, and when she's spending time thinking about you, she's re-attracting herself to you.
Can she see your like and go "Meh, fuck that guy. He's just trying to fuck me again..."
But remember the part where if you don't do it, then you never even give her the chance to get into you again? Even if she's like "fuck this dude" then so what. You weren't going to get anything if you didn't try, and for god's sake, you're just liking one post of hers. This is not a big deal. Trust me, even if she takes it as you chasing her, there are 100 other dudes on her profile who she feels the same way about. This is not a new feeling to her, and you'll likely be a passing fart in the wind to her.
Now sometimes when you start small, there's a chance she'll miss your re-engagement. Maybe she just doesn't look at who liked her post or she overlooks you. In that case, you might want to try something a bit more engaged. I don't mean just calling her up to tell you you love her, but maybe something a bit more committed where she'll definitely see that you've taken action.
To re-engage a bit more than just liking a Facebook post, I like to do something like follow her on Instagram. Well, guess what happens then? When she opens her instagram account she'll have a notification that you followed her. Now she reads that, looks at your face, registers who you are in her brain, and knows that you thought about her. Just something like this alone could trigger her to message you, and if not, again you've planted a seed that you can continue to follow up on.
There are further levels of commitment, and the further you go with your level of engagement, the higher the risk. Ever seen the movie "Say Anything" with John Cusack where he rolls up to his chicks house with a boom box over his head playing the song "Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel? This is what I mean by a higher level of risk. If you've got a fucking boom box over your head playing a love song outside of your house, then you're pretty much making it entirely clear that you'd like to bang again. The good news is that you can move up the chain from social media to a simple text message or something and you don't have to go all John Cusack on her.
So here's a trick for you. And since it's the holiday season this is still something you can use today. The reality of life is that there are times in it when we all start to reminisce about the events of the past and the future. One of these times for most people is the holiday season, and this is especially true for women. If the woman is a particularly emotional (and hopefully single) one, this is even more true yet! So if you're in the texting mood and you'd like to re-engage, a simple "You crossed my mind over the holidays, how was your New Years?!?" (or christmas, whatever). You can even omit the part where you tell her you thought about her and just ask how her new years is or holidays, Hannakuh, whatever. The point is, this is a loophole because we know this is the time of year when people look at the past year and the year going forward.
I've got about 100 other tricks like this, and if you'd like more info on them there's only a couple ways to do it. Right now the Flawless Texting forum is still going strong, and I personally answer each and every post on the forum. You can ask me anything you'd like to ask me there, and if you'd like some more personal help like many do (I'm doing about 2-3 phone consults a day right now), it's easy to get me on the phone or meet me up in person. Just yesterday I chatted with a client who was in a disastrous situation with a woman who was running over him, and within just one session we turned her into a legit fuck buddy who now texts him late at night for sex. These incredible transformations happen everyday with my clients, even when it's not that type of a situation and the client just wants his ex back or wants to get a date with a girl he's been texting or Tindering. I'd love to remind you here that I've done this shit forever and I give you a 100% guarantee you'll leave being over-delivered to and beyond satisfied. Why waste more time thinking about this girl? Get on with it or get over it and move on. This is 2017 and it's time for a new you.
Thanks for reading.
To contact me with questions about training or to schedule a phone call, simply shoot me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we can often jump on the phone the very same day you send your email. I make myself widely available to my clients and I pride myself in offering the very best dating advice the planet has to offer. Try me out and become a raving fan when your mind is blown at what's possible. Email me now! I look forward to hearing from you.