Monday, October 29, 2012

Convince yourself learning dating doesn't work

The story always sounds something like this...  "So i've tried to pickup women for awhile and it's not working for what I think are x, y, and z reasons.  Now that i've convinced myself that I can't try any harder, i've come up with 10 logical reasons not to try to meet women and work on my dating skills anymore, so i'm thinking of quitting." --- If I had a nickel for every time i've heard a single guy say this... well... i'd have about 52 metal dicks worth of nickels, and if I let a student "sell" me this heap of shit story then i'd be a very ineffective instructor.  So let me tell you why this is bullshit so you can make sure you never fall into this mental trap.  Are you going to fail at your dating life by convincing yourself it doesn't work, or will you be one of the successful guys swimming in vagina for the rest of your life?  Let's find out...

My guess is that if you're still reading here, then you've heard this story before or you yourself have started to conjure up reasons to not continue with your dating education and skillset development.  Why do people think like this?  Because learning about women is hard!  Not only is it hard, it might be the most difficult skill a man can possibly learn in this entire world!  And when people learn things that are hard, they often give up.

Let's talk about what happens when someone gives up.  First and foremost, the reason people give up is simple:  Lack of forward progress.  Quite simply, if you don't feel like you're gaining ground and you're uncertain you'll ever get any better or grow any more, then you'll lose your motivation to continue because you'll cease to have a reasonable expectation of success.  Reasonable enough, right?

So instead of taking the proper action, trying another adjustment, or seeing a professional so that you can gain some ground and get the correct information you need at the correct time, most guys will instead slide into the habit of recurring negative thought patterns.  Soon "Man that was a bad night, odd..." turns into "I never have good nights."  Before you know it, it's "Dating is bullshit" and "I hate this city."  When someone reaches this point of thinking, they've "been drinking the Hater-ade," and when you drink the haterade there really aren't any limits to what you'll think and believe.  Anything associated with dating women will often fall into the "I hate that" category, because it reminds you that you suck and that you're failing.  Yeah I said it!!!  You're failing if you think this way.  

Quit trying to protect your ego.  Quit hating.  Quit being a fucking retard.  Swallow your pride, continue to pay your dues, and BE SMART about the process that you're in.  Try something different, anything, just don't keep doing what you've been doing.  No one can learn dating skills on their own.  Know when to ask for help.  The process of learning dating skills works, but you can't do it alone and you can't get the results you seek without correct adjustments and good advice from professionals who have seen you game.  So realize that this is difficult and will take some time.  Your anger and frustration will pass with effective training and progress.


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1 comment:

  1. Awesome post Jake I really needed this. Been on the fence lately about quitting the 30/30 club even though I've had awesome success so far(10 lays this past year) and I consider myself having great potential. I've just stopped approaching as much as a should so my progress has been stagnant and it's because I'm currently in a non exclusive relationship. Although I've told her I'm not ready for commitment and I've fucked other chicks without her knowing, I know I do really love her and feel like I've gotten comfortable in the relationship.

    It sucks because I do make excuses about how badly my city sucks to approach, how I don't have anyone to wing with, social pressure being there because my cities small so people know me. I also know for a fact that even though my girl loves me a lot and shows and proves it in every way, I know if you or Bradp came up to my girl with your master skills you would easily bang her. That fact alone motivates me to be a master to the point of being able to keep my chicks around. Wish I hadn't let things get so serious with her because I have a lot of emotions invested now and she's talking marriage which I constantly turn down. I'm only in my early 20's so fuck that shit! I still wanna bang broads lol...sorry for the rambling but yea I'm not going to quit. Gotta get better. Thnx for the blog, it continues to motivate me.

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