Let's look at an example. Say you're out of town and you've been talking with a girl who you'd like to meet up with when you get back to town, but you're just not quite sure if she likes you enough to meet up yet. Situations like these are tricky because we have to show enough interest and give enough logistics to get the meetup, but not so much interest that we seem needy or desperate. This is why I don't like to say something like "Hey, i'll be back in town Sunday and I work Tuesday and Wednesday, so you wanna hangout like Monday?" Can you see how this is too much information? You tell her your exact schedule and then ask her out as well, essentially leaving nothing to her imagination. She knows you like her and you have no clue what she thinks about you unless she agrees to your invitation. It could be argued that you really have nothing else going on but to ask her out, and most importantly the girl won't experience any tension with this type of invitation.
Instead of the above atrocity, I like to text the girl back and forth a few times to kinda warm her up, then I let her know that i'll be back in town "next week" or "soon." For instance, on my 3rd or 4th text I'd say something like "Right on, well it looks like i'll be back in town to work next week."
That's it. I'd send that text and wait.
So let's talk about what will the girl be thinking when she gets this text. The lack of information will cause her to have to do some thinking about what you mean. Do you mean that you're available? That you want to hangout? Are you maybe just saying something about your work? Should she ask you out? Play it cool?
The important part here is that this type of statement creates tension, and that tension creates suspense.
Most girls when faced with a statement like this will get the idea that you're in a roundabout way letting her know that you'll be around and you're open to hanging out, so they'll respond accordingly, letting you know exactly where they stand with you. For instance, if the girl texts back "cool, i'll be in town too" then you know that she's down to hangout. Maybe she says something like "great! lets hang when you get back." Obviously this is a great result too. The cool part here is that the girl is basically asking you out! Now you know for sure she's into you.
There could be some other responses too. She could choose to comment on your work instead, like "Oh right on, what are you doing for work?" This would indicate you've still got to get to know each other a bit better before she's ready to be asked out. I'd keep telling her stuff about me and add a flirt here and there before asking her out.
You could also get a somewhat negative result from this, like if she just doesn't text back. But remember that you didn't really ask her out in this case, so you haven't really put yourself out there too much and you really haven't lost much. Nice. Is this over at this point? No!!! Remember that you've already texted her a few times before a statement like this (as recommended above), so you know that you've got some compliance already, just not enough for her to make the move herself. You could also be dealing with a quieter girl who just won't take that step. In either case, i'd just sent another few texts back and forth with the intention of asking her out in a little more direct way later in the text conversation. Oftentimes you'll still get her to go out with this method, making it not so bad when she doesn't text back. It's an entirely different scenario then the first example where you give her too much info and she doesn't text back because in the first case you're often just dead in the water.
Obviously with this method of giving little information there are tons of different things a girl can respond with, and the point is that no matter what she says we still get a great idea of how she views us and we've done so with minimal investment.
That's it for today guys. Thanks for reading.
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