Friday, February 13, 2015

How to Have a Great Valentines Day

Valentines Day is tomorrow gentlemen.  So strap in, because whether you've got love or not, you're in for a mental and emotional ride.  In preparation, I wanna go through some things to do and not do for your specific situation with women.  With any luck, you can make it a great day!

Before I talk to guys who have women in some form in their lives no matter how connected or disconnected, let's first start with the guys who have zero (and I mean ZERO) women.  If you don't have any women in your life, Valentines day should be a great day for you!  After all, no women at the very least means you won't be engaging in any wallet-draining behaviors like fancy dinner, chocolates, diamonds, and other puke-worthy cliches.  

That said, what I would recommend you spend some money on are two things.  The first one is yourself.  If you're single it's very easy to get a bit down on yourself on Valentines day, so I recommend you take care of yourself first and foremost.  Buy yourself a green juice, a massage, hit a spa, shoot a gun, play some basketball, or do anything else healthy that you enjoy doing that treats yourself.  I find when I feel alone it's best to remind myself that I care about what happens to me and I deserve to feel good about wherever i'm at in my path in life.  It's far better to go through the day feeling great than to down a bottle of cheap whiskey and reminisce about past woes.  And trust me i've done both.  

The second thing I'd recommend single guys spend some money on for Valentines day is a night out! Invite your buddy (and any single woman you know) out for drinks and buy them their first one at a bar, restaurant bar, or a good club.  Most couples don't end up in bars on Valentines day so you can be pretty sure that any woman who makes it to a bar for any reason is definitely looking to make a connection with somebody in whatever way she sees it happening in her mind.  Be the guy who facilitates others having a great night and show that you're not ashamed to be single.  Others will follow you when you show this type of energy.

Oh, and when you meet a woman out tomorrow night, you're meeting a woman who is proactive about herself and her dating life as well!  Just her presence shows she's taking a confident step in putting herself out there, even if she'll be 6 martinis into a solid buzz by 12:30.  I give any woman who goes out to have a drink on Valentines day quite a bit of respect.  What a great night to know you're meeting a mentally healthy woman.  That is, of course, if she's not drunk and ranting about her Ex, Joe all night.

For the guys who might have a few phone numbers but nobody special to go out with just yet, shoot a girl a text and try to make a drink happen!  Yes, she might be getting hit on by 20 other dudes, but they're asking her out to an expectation-filled romantic dinner, not to have a couple cocktails and relax in their singlehood.  There's a huge difference, and your night out might sound to her like a great option.  Present it as a chill night, and if you need a text to send her TODAY, send this: 

I haven't gotten any flowers, chocolates, or free dinners from you lately.  Are we breaking up?  And just before Valentines Day?!?   

This text works best when you are just disconnected enough from her for her to know that you're not being serious in the least bit.  If she texts you back, tell her :

"Well i'll be out and about for a chill drink or four tomorrow night if you feel like not having pressure.  I know I don't."  

That'll set you right apart from the norm and provide her with some comfort in knowing she has an option for going out.  I've had girls leave after their expensive dinner to come out with me because that dude sucked.  Score.  

For those of you with something a bit more serious but not serious enough for a full on romantic time, i'd recommend something casual and comfortable with a flair of surprise.  Picture pizza and a movie with two bottles of $20 champagne.  To me this says I wanna hangout with you, but obviously we're not quite there yet.  Or insert hamburgers, whatever.  Just nothing involving candles or candlelight or reservations.  Think sweet and a bit of surprise, not imposing.  

Girlfriend?  Uh oh.  You're totally fucked on the big V-day.  Her expectations could be all over the place, so try and know what kind of girl you've got and feel her out for what she had in her mind to do.  If you've got a "I don't know, what were you thinking?" kind of girl, then she's gonna want dinner, and if you're reading this article its already too fucking late for a reservation that isn't at 10:30pm.  

For damage control, I recommend being frank with her.  "You know what, i'd really like to spend my night with you, but i'm really not into all that fancy reservations shit.  I don't feel like we need that to know that we like each other."  A touch of cute like that can go a very long way, and since you're a couple already, maybe a night cooking non-cheap food together could be nice.  Spring for some steaks or something a bit higher class than you two normally eat together.  She'll appreciate a bit of effort and cuteness (like a nicer than normal adult beverage) and it won't be so much that she'll wanna vomit and run away top speed in the opposite direction from you.  Think:  A night of connection and connectedness.  That's what girls in relationships want.  

For those of you who might have a very serious relationship or marriage, what exactly are you reading my blog for again???  lol.  For Valentines Day I recommend you buy her a divorce, because obviously you're cheating on her if you even know who I am.   Please delete your cookies on your computer so she doesn't come find and kill me... no seriously.  Delete them.  Please.  I quite enjoy my life and I don't want to die.  And I don't want to have sex with your ex-wife either.  

In Summary:  The biggest mistake you can make on Valentines day is going too far and showing far too much romance and affection.  Although women will tell you all day long that they want exactly that, what they really want is a man who they know likes them but only gives the littlest hint of it outwardly.  The romantic alpha male uses his presence as his reward.  Spend your time with her, give her a VERY SMALL hint of cuteness (like you don't like being romantic but she can see that you are enjoying your night), then have dirty dirty sex with her.  She'll be yours for as long as you like.  

And I mean dirty.

Oh, and I almost forgot!!!  If you're going out tonight with her, make sure to take her to a dark forest to have sex, then when you're done chop her head off and leave her body there so that next year when you drive by you can get a boner.  

Happy Friday the 13th dudes!  And make your Valentines Day a great one!





  

1 comment:

  1. I celebrated with BBQ ribs and bourbon. Don't worry...it was happy bourbon, not wallow in misery bourbon. :)

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