Just a quick update before I talk about game today. Periscope didn't happen this weekend and it's happening today or tomorrow instead. I'll shoot everyone on my email list an email before it happens so that you can be ready and waiting. Last time I didn't have my settings on Periscope set to record the broadcast, so the last one didn't get recorded. This one will though, and when it's done i'll put if up on The Flawless Man Forum ASAP!
So on the forum I've been getting asked some questions lately about opening and openers and short ones and long ones and which opener to use and "should I have a stack" and all of that, so today I wanted to address those questions so everything's clear for you.
Let's first talk about using a short opener vs. using a long opener. The rule for length of an opener to use is this:
The louder and busier the bar, the shorter your opener should be.
The quieter your environment is, the longer the opener can be.
Simple enough? The idea here is that when you're in a very loud, busy bar with a lot of people movement, people will tend to be a lot more ADD and interactions will be fleeting and short. For this reason it's important to use high-impact openers that are short. This gives you the best chance of getting her attention quickly. Use of a longer opener in an environment that has a ton of stimulation already in it and you will very likely appear boring to a girl. After all, why would she have an entire minute to hear your story at a time when everything in the environment is stimulating her and competing for her attention?
The only time I like to use longer openers is at the beginning of the night when people are mostly standing around in lower states with less drinks in them, or in daytime environments with women who are mostly static, not moving, and have lower energy.
Should you have a stack?
Quite simply, fuck yes. In all my years of coaching I have literally not met even one "natural game" student who can outgame a student of mine who is using a stack. A stack has more punch and impact than a guy who is winging it, having never learned a single routine.
Let's talk this out, cause I'm aware that it's a hotly debated topic.
Each routine that we learn and use is basically meant to teach us an alpha male behavior. When we first use a routine, we're basically flying blind and we're not aware how this mechanism works. After using the routine many times, we ingrain in ourselves what the routine accomplishes and how women laugh or react. After thinking about the routine, boiling it down to it's essentials, and heavily ingraining it in ourselves, we can do what's called embrace & extend, where we embrace the concept of the routine and are able to extend the routine using our own humor and energy.
Finally when we fully understand the routine and what it accomplishes, an advanced, thoughtful man can use the routine (or a piece of it) as a tool designed to specifically create the feeling in the woman that he knows the routine elicits in her. Got that? We engineer the woman's emotional experience with us using routines as tools to create an emotional progression in the woman.
Let's dive deeper.
Many of you have heard the routine "Smart, Hot, Rich." It goes like this:
"Hey, are you a smart girl? Cause I only like girls who are smart, because then I don't get bored. Hmmm, what else do I like? Oh! I like girls who are hot, because I'm hot. And I also like girls who are super super rich, because then they can like take me out to dinners and buy me tons of shit."
So let's break this sucker down into parts and talk about each part as a tool we can use to elicit emotions when we need them.
Part 1 - "Hey, are you a smart girl? Cause I only like girls who are smart because then I don't get bored."
Saying that you only like smart girls because then you don't get bored is communicating that you are able to exclude women, and it sub-communicates that unfortunately sometimes you get bored of girls against your own will when a girl is dumb. It's like saying "Well, I don't like to get bored of women, but unfortunately sometimes I do." This is a qualification type of routine that will make the woman feel like she's being qualified and judged for acceptability. She'll feel like you're evaluating her, and when you're evaluating her, she's more in defense mode than she is in the mode where she's judging you.
So when would I use this chunk of this routine? I would use it when I get the idea that the girl maybe thinks she already could have me. If I feel like the girl thinks she's better than me, then I might do this chunk of the routine.
If I've done this routine tons and tons of times, I should have this single "tool" in my toolbox and I shouldn't have to need to say the whole routine to accomplish my goal. I simply read the woman's energy and when I get the idea that I need to elicit the emotion of her feeling qualified, then I use only this chunk of the tool. I also am skilled enough at this point that I don't even need to use the exact words of the routine. I could instead say any words that I feel will challenge in the same way. For instance, I could say something like "So wait, tell me something here... How many books would I find on your shelf at home and what are they about?"
Part 2 - Hmmm, what else do I like? Oh! I like girls who are hot, because I'm hot.
So this is some cocky funny and a bit of playing the part of a shallow guy who is only concerned with how hot people are. Many women are kind of this way and this is also very in-line with female humor, so I think it demonstrates confidence to a girl and she will feel like I think I'm the shit.
The process here is the same. If I feel like the girl might not think I'm confident or maybe I showed some vulnerability and I want to calibrate using some cockiness, I pull my "I'm hot" routine out. I could simply say "Whatever, I'm fucking hot" to her or "Hey, that guy you're looking at is whatever, but me, now I'm something special..."
We use the tool to accomplish an emotional goal because we've assessed a need for that tool to be used. This is what routines teach us. Once we know what each routine accomplishes and we blindly use them enough to see the reaction we create, then we can start using them less and less until what we're left with is an emotional creation toolbox.
After doing routines for years, I no longer use them, and everything that comes out of my mouth works almost no matter what. I simply open and "be myself" (my new self), and I can't lose. In contrast, guys who learn "natural" game have never examined what they say in this manner, so they can only accomplish the emotional work that their original skill set provides for. Where can skill set expansion come from?
Listen, I love naturally gaming and not having an agenda in my sets. It's what I do daily. I also believe that my ability to do this came from repetition and examination of routines and the feelings and emotions that I see them elicit from women. When we as men can accurately judge a woman's current emotions and we have the ability to use our "toolbox" to manage their state and create emotions in them, then we are going to be the best we can possibly be at game. This translates well to anything dealing with humans.
So summing this all up, use routines until you don't need to anymore. Try to be conscious about what emotion your routine is supposed to elicit and don't blindly use routines and hope they work. When you develop an understanding of what emotions and reactions each routine is supposed to elicit, you can start to accurately use a routine based on an emotional goal you would like to accomplish with a women. This process makes your game with each woman as calibrated as possible.
Now get out there and try this! Make this week count! I'll be messaging you soon and I hope you can tune in to my next Periscope broadcast. Cheers.