First though, I wanna make a quick note here. Many of you probably are saying "Just get a Hooker!" Well sure, that can be done, yes. However, in my experience I've found that many guys who are virgins simply don't want to lose their virginity to a hooker. Often the men are also concerned about STD's. If you're a guy like this, it's not a big deal.
So let's talk about STD's quick.
Just use a condom.
I know if you're a virgin you're likely quite weirded about getting a sexually transmitted disease or maybe about getting a girl pregnant, but the reality of sex is that if you use a condom you can have sex with an AIDS infested prostitute while taking the lord's name in vain and you're still very highly unlikely to get something, although I can't say I recommend doing either, lol. So before you go out with a girl make sure you buy some condoms and throw two or three in your coat pocket and don't be ashamed of carrying them. Guys who get laid have condoms on them all the time, it's a normal thing. Stop worrying. I have sex all the time and I have no children and no STD's.
Next up, if you wanna lose your virginity, first you're going to need a chick to do it with. Any chick will do, and I recommend just having sex with the first girl who will have sex with you. Obviously this is a personal choice and many people like it to be "special" or whatever, but the reality is that it's just not that big of a deal.
In fact, if you're a virgin and you're in your late 20's, 30's, 40's or later, it's highly likely that you're sexually unhealthy right now. That means that it's a better idea for your overall health and well-being to have sex, just so that you're starting to meet your sexual needs in a healthy way instead of jacking off 100 times a day or sticking a banana up your ass or whatever else you're doing at home when no one's around. This may sound funny, but it's actually a serious thing and I would err on the side of not worrying about how "special" it is to you and take care of your health instead if I were you.
Got it? Do whatever you're comfortable with, but for god sakes don't let the "I want it to be special" thing cause you years of latent complications and issues with your sexual health. Sex is normal, natural, and something we all have a need for. That need isn't a bad thing, it's a normal thing.
Okay, so what about if you're a guy who doesn't have anyone right now who would have sex with you? Well if you don't have any women right now it's time to start meeting some. Without getting into too many specifics (because that's not the topic of this article), I recommend you use multiple streams of income for new women. This means talk to women when you're out at bars, at the grocery store, whatever, and use dating services like Tinder, ok cupid, and all that. Go to events, conferences, gatherings, exercise classes, and literally any thing or place where there will be women that you can walk up and say hi to.
Again, try not to overcomplicate things. Walk up and introduce yourself and every time that you've been talking to a women for a few minutes or more, ask her out. Just say "Well hey, I'd love to take you out sometime, can I get your number?" She'll either say yes or shell say no, both are just fine. The important thing is that you ask.
If she says no, go meet another girl and do the same thing.
If she says yes, then text her the next day and ask her out.
So here's how like everybody on the planet loses their virginity: A girl comes over to "watch a movie." You put the movie in, watch 10 minutes of it, start making out, take each other's clothes off, and have sex. Done.
That's what you should do too.
Got it? Having a girl over to watch a movie is probably the simplest way to lose your virginity, and because of this, your new goal in dating as of right this second is to get girls to come over and watch a movie so you can try to have sex with them. When you first ask the girl out, you can simply say "Wanna come watch a movie?" If she says no, then fine, do something else on that date. Go to a bar, dinner, the park, whatever. I don't care. But each new time you ask her to hangout, ask her again to watch a movie. Eventually, she'll come and watch a fucking movie with you.
Now when the girl comes over to watch the movie, put the movie in and watch it for 10 minutes or so, then when you've done that just lean over and try to kiss her. Nothing fancy, you don't need some crazy lead up or anything, just lean over, get your face close to hers so that she knows it's coming, and kiss her.
She's either going to kiss you or she's not. Simple.
If she doesn't kiss you, then fine. Wait 10 more minutes and try again. She's either going to kiss you or she's not. If she doesn't kiss you, then wait 10 more minutes and try again.
Keep doing this over and over.
She's either going to leave your house completely, or she's going to stay and you're going to try again and again every 10 minutes until she does. I'm not joking here. Do it.
Okay, so now you're kissing her. Keep kissing her for a couple minutes and then try to grab her boob on the outside of her shirt. Again, she's either going to let you or she's going to stop you. If she stops you, kiss her for a couple more minutes and try again. She's either going to leave or you're going to try again. If she stops you from grabbing her boob and she stops making out with you, wait 10 minutes and try the whole thing again.
Are you starting to get the idea here?
After you're felt her boob for a minute or so, try to take off her shirt. Again, she'll either let you or she won't. If she doesn't, wait a couple minutes and try again. If she lets you take her shirt off then take yours off too. As a rule of thumb, don't ever be more naked than she is. Next, feel her boobs for a couple more minutes then try to take her bra off. She's either going to let you or she's not. Either way we don't care, the important part is that you try, try, and try again.
So over and over here the pattern is going to be to just keep trying over and over. When she lets you do something then do it for a couple minutes and then try for the next thing. When she doesn't let you do the next thing, keep trying to makeout for a couple minutes and try again. If she stops you altogether, just watch the movie for 10 more minutes and start the whole thing again.
Once you've got her bra off, you're going to start rubbing her pussy on the outside of her pants. After a couple of minutes try to take them off. When her pants are off, continue making out and rubbing her pussy on the outside of her pants and also take your pants off. When you've done that for a couple minutes then try to take her underwear off. When hers comes off then take yours off too.
**Pro tip: At any point after you've touched her pussy (clothes on or off, doesn't matter), it's a great idea to grab her hand and just put it on your penis. I like to do this whether I'm hard or not. Now you can put her hand on your penis on the outside of your pants, on the outside of your underwear, or once you've got your underwear off. It doesn't matter. What's important is that anytime you get a woman's hand onto your penis, her biology often takes over and tells her that she needs to have sex, and this is a strong urge for her, so if you can elicit that urge by grabbing her hand and placing it on you, then you're making a great move.***
Once you're both naked, continue rubbing her pussy for a couple minutes and then try to get on top of her. When you do, most girls will know that you're about to have sex and they'll kind of stop you to ask you something like "Do you have a condom?" When this happens just tell her "Yeah" and try to keep making out while you get it and put it on. This is the point where it's common for there to be a bit of awkwardness, so if you do feel awkward, just don't worry about it and keep going. This happens to all of us a lot of the time and it's not a big deal.
From there once you've got your condom on, just get on top of her and try to put it in there. By this time she should be wet, and if she's not then feel free to get some saliva on your fingers and rub her pussy for a second before you put it inside her.
And there you have it. Bye bye virginity.
Now I already know what you're wondering because I've had this talk quite a few times, so let's do some FAQ here.
First off, "What if I come really quickly or even before I put my penis inside of her?"
Great question. I think in our first sexual experience we all probably come very very quickly, and it's really not a big deal. I know my first time having sex the girl sat on top of me once or twice and I immediately came. Like fucking immediately. It maybe took all of three seconds for me to come. Was it a disaster? No. The girl actually had picked up on the fact that I didn't have much sexual experience and she was flattered that I was so turned on by her. She quite adored it, actually. So we continued to makeout and I touched her and went down on her a bit until I was ready again, and then we had sex again and I came quick a second time. Still not a big deal.
The reality of coming quickly is that it happens to a lot of men and women don't really care too much about it unless it's happening every time you have sex over a longer period of time. If that's happening to you, then grab some dick pills, take them, and go longer. Problem solved. A good tip here is that if you notice that your girl isn't coming very often during sex then it's likely that you should slow things way down with her and allow for more buildup before you throw the 'ol telephone pole into the grand canyon, if you know what I mean...
"Should I come inside of her, or should I quickly pull out, rip the condom off, and blow a huge load in her face porno-style?"
Just come inside of her, but it's a great idea to make sure your condom is definitely on before you do. Sometimes during sex it can slide off, so just make sure it hasn't before you go blowing bad decisions into her and fucking up your life. Try and wait to mess up your life if you can at all avoid it.
"Did she like it?" "Did she come?"
Yes and probably not. Don't worry about being a super playboy hot shit yogurt squirting stud muffin during your first sexual experience with a girl. I think many women would agree that orgasms come from a combination of her mind and her body, not some porno technique. So take your time with her, connect with her, and allow things to buildup more the next time and you'll be more likely to make her come next time. But certainly don't worry too much about not making her come the first time you ever try. Make sense? So just to recap so this is clear:
CONNECTION + BUILDUP + SEXUAL SKILL => ORGASM
ABILITY TO FUCK LIKE ROCCO SIFFREDI => ORGASM
Got it? Good. Take it easy, champ. Just enjoy what you're doing, take your time, and learn as you go. It should be an exploration where you find yourself at the end, not a destination that you can get to faster by brute force.
"So Jake, I've read all this shit, and I've gotta tell you, I still have a lot of questions and fears about all of this."
Great question, and let me reassure you that we all have plenty of questions and fears about sex, even after we've had it. Two options here that I recommend, based on your level of income. If money is something you've had figured out for awhile and it's not a big deal to you, then I recommend taking care of losing your virginity as quickly as possible so you can get on with your life. In other words, use the resources you have to start to be a healthy guy as quickly as you can so that you can quit focusing on women and this issue so much. Wouldn't it be nice to have a girlfriend, a wife, or just someone you can share sexual experiences with?
If you're a guy who wants to knock this out of the ballpark immediately, email me right now (my address is firstname.lastname@example.org) and I can jump on the phone with you and discuss the specifics of what your path should be. For some guys it's training and for other guys we can take care of things on the phone. Right now my phone coaching rate is $400 per hour, but if you email me this week I'll do it for half of that, $200 for an hour. We can even split that up into two half-hour sessions if you'd like and you can ask me anything you'd like to. For some guys, that's all it takes. An hour of my time and yours and $200 and you've got your head straightened out and you're on your way.
For other guys who don't have $200 or more, you can still get advice directly from me on The Flawless Man Forum. The Flawless Man forum is my personal forum where I'm the only person who gives advice right now. You don't get some nobody answering your post by regurgitating some crappy advice he heard somewhere and thinks is right, you get me and my decades of experience answering your personal questions daily. You can also read my advice to others. The Flawless Man Forum is a pure knowledge base that's only sixty seven dollars a month right now. But there's a catch: I'm going to raise the price significantly as soon as things get so busy that I can't possibly answer all the questions that people are putting up, so now is the time to buy.
If neither of those options work for you, feel free to write in your questions and comments below.
Well... I think that's about it for today. Phew! That turned out to be a bit longer than I had expected but I'm writing it in hopes that there are a few guys out there who really need this advice. And if you're a guy who has already lost his virginity than I hope you still picked up a tip or two that you can use. The Flawless Man forum isn't just for virgins, by the way... It's a forum for everything dating related where a lot of guys just like you talk about lots of dating topics. We talk about Tinder, Texting, Dating, Sex, etc etc. and a lot of guys are posting screenshots of their texting conversations with women that I go over IN DETAIL. There's also no risk! You can go in, check it out, and if you hate it you can cancel and leave. Simple. And I won't even hate you if you do. It's just my hope that you'll join us there and allow me to continue doing what I love and helping men just like you have the success that I've been fortunate enough to experience in my own life. Click here to see the Flawless Man Forum for yourself! Cheers and have a great weekend! I'll catch you on the flip side...