I'm about to expose what a gold-digger looks like in real life then I'm going to reveal what the three types of gold diggers are and how to avoid them. I'm also going to talk about strippers today. Now the point of all of this stripper talk isn't to make you, the reader, think I'm some seedy guy who is hanging out all day in various strip clubs. Rather, I use strippers as an example because their job is literally to be good at gold digging, and some of them are far more blatant and malicious than others.
It's important to read the information that follows very carefully, because if you're a guy who doesn't know the gold digger warning signs that I'm about to share with you, then you're the type of victim these women are looking for. Remember, if you don't know who the sucker at the poker table, then it's you.
Before I show you the actual text messages I got from a girl this morning, let's start with this warning:
If you are a guy who's a bit starved for attention and sex in your life, it sometimes seems like a great option to spend your money to get laid. However, the reality is that when you spend money to get attention and sex, the woman loses respect for you and you damage yourself and the woman give money to in the process. Stop doing this NOW.
I'm going to tell you how to spot and stop a gold digger right now.
First let's start with this morning's crazy text messaging so you can see an example of how many women ask for money. Now some gold diggers are smoother than others, but in this case the girl is a total blatant idiot about it, so she was easy to spot. Later on here I'm going to tell you about the best, smoothest way a girl gets money from a guy, but for now let's start with an easy example.
So this girl texts me this morning kind of out of the blue. We hooked up a couple times and we haven't communicated in a few weeks because I stopped texting her and responding. Until today. Today I knew this was coming and it upset me, so fuck this girl, I'm sharing her shit in hopes that it doesn't happen to other men. In fact, just to get it out in the open..
FUCK YOU IF YOU'RE A WOMAN WHO CONSCIOUSLY TRIES TO USE MEN FOR MONEY... JUST FUCK YOU.
And also, to be fair, if you're an uninformed guy who uses your money to get laid, or worse yet you're an informed guy who still does it, then fuck you too. Grow up and work towards getting your needs met in a healthier way. You'll be happy you did, and you'll have a self-esteem that's in-tact. You'll respect yourself. Stop your slide down the slippery slope now.
Okay okay, rant over. Here's the girl's text messages.
Now if you just read those text messages, you're in one of two camps. Camp 1 is like "Fuck that gold digger! God, can you possibly be more blatant?!?" Camp 2 is more like "Ahh, that's not so bad, she's actually just probably honestly looking for tickets."
Which camp are you in? Stop right now and think about what your REAL and HONEST reaction was to those text messages. Be honest with yourself. Did you really think it wasn't that bad, or did you think it was obvious gold digging?
If you were in Camp 2 and you thought it wasn't that bad, then I can relate to you. After all, this girl isn't directly asking me for money, she just seems to be asking if I know someone with tickets. She might have the money ready to buy them and just honestly can't find someone who has a ticket to buy. It's plausible.
The problem with Camp 2 mentality is that the mindset a man has where he gives a woman the benefit of the doubt in situations like these is the exact grey area a manipulative woman uses to get money out of a guy! She knows that guys who want to have sex with her are very likely to give her money (in whatever form, in this case it's concert tickets) because they are hoping that they'll get sex from it. In Dr. Robert Glover's book No More Mr. Nice Guy, he calls situations like these "covert contracts." From his website:
A Nice Guy’s primary goal is to make other people happy.
- If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.These covert contracts operate at an unconscious level. They don’t work for a number of reasons, but Nice Guys are convinced they should.
Because most Nice Guys believe they have kept their side of the contract, they often feel helpless and resentful when other people (and the world) don’t keep their side of the contract.
Are you getting this? If you're in Camp 2 and you thought what this woman did was harmless, then you're in a dangerous situation. Your situation is dangerous because you're vulnerable not only to losing your money, but to losing respect for yourself, losing your self-esteem, and losing a great deal of opportunities with amazing women out there who wouldn't even think of doing something like this to you. If you're in Camp 2 you're not a bad person. I repeat, you're not a bad person! You just simply haven't been made aware of this yet, and that's why I'm writing this today... so that you start to grow in your awareness.
So back to this woman. What we have here is a woman who is consciously using her sexual power over a man to elicit money from him. And if you're a guy on the receiving end of that, my friend, you should feel very very offended that a woman is doing that to you. I know when this woman texted me this morning I certainly was offended. Fuck her. That's why I am the President of Camp 1. Fuck this chick!
Some of you might be thinking "But wait though Jake! I know for a fact that women like money and that guys who have money get laid. How would you explain that?"
You're very right. Many men who have money do get laid. And! They often get laid simply for their money. But allow me to make a simple and profound distinction here. What women actually want from a man is security, something easily confused with money. Financial security is much different than emotional security, and we all can use some of both. I've helped many (very rich) men overcome the problem of trading sex for money in the past. Here is the sad and unfortunate pattern they go through with women who use them for their money:
First, the woman comes into their life. The woman finds out that the man has money soon after meeting him. When she finds this out, she immediately views this man not as a source for good times and great sex (like she should), but instead as a source of money. From that point she withholds sex in order to extract money. The man spends his money on her in hopes of getting sex from her. The woman keeps accepting money even though she does not respect the man and is not attracted to him. She backwards rationalizes that the man is receiving value from her, but deep down she feels guilty. She continues feeling more and more guilty taking money from the man until she finally feels compelled to have sex with the man because she pities him. That's right, pity sex.
The pity sex happens once and only once, then the cycle repeats. This time the man tries harder and gives even more money because he believes that what he's doing is working! After all, he just had sex with the girl! Woohoo! ... right!?! Wrong.
This cycle of money giving and eventual one-time sex repeats every 3 months or so until finally the man has spent so much money and gotten such little reward from it that he moves on to the next woman. He considers or already engages in buying prostitutes as well, for the record.
The result of all this? The man continues this cycle for the entirety of his life. He is never loved for who he is, he is only loved in a very fake, thin way for the temporary money and satisfaction he provides. This is not love and it is very unfulfilling for the man, yet he is stuck in this cycle and believes there is no way out.
So yes these guys can and do get sex from women, but they do so begrudgingly and only after extracting so much money that they feel guilty and they give the man pity sex. So I ask you...
How much of a man is this man? Does he respect himself?
The reality is that this is not a man and he is not truly respected, and it's a very unfortunate situation. Nobody wins.
If you're still with me here, hopefully you now understand that making covert contracts with women to exchange money and gifts for possible sex is a horrible horrible nasty and terrible decision for you, for her, and for your life. So let's move on now and discuss how I knew the woman who texted me this morning was a gold digger and how you can irrefutibly spot a gold digger in the future.
I'm going to first give you some tips on spotting gold diggers here, then I'm going to talk about how you can design your life and your social skills so that gold diggers have a very rough time dealing with you.
First off, there are 3 types of gold-diggers. A woman can be any or all of these in any given moment.
1. The Gold Digging Cunt. I call the first type of gold digger a cunt for a damn good reason. A gold digging cunt is a woman who outright demands money from you or just blatantly steals it from you right in front of your face. Strippers, prostitutes, and women who divorce men as a means of blatant theft all fall into this category. And for the record I think women who divorce men are the worst of these three because the man gets nothing in return, lol. If i'm going to get fucked, at least fuck me or let me see a titty for god's sake. Right!?!
Gold digging cunts won't ask you for money, they'll blatantly demand you give it to them because they feel entitled to it. Why? Because so many men before you have given it to them, and the process of this happening over and over has taught them that they deserve money for whatever reason. Ouch. And by the way, FUCK YOU if you're a woman like this and you're reading my post. Grow up and do something with your life. The world doesn't owe you anything because you have a pussy.
I will make one very small exception here, and that's for a specific situation between a stripper and a cheap guy watching. If a stripper is getting naked on stage in front of a guy and he's sitting there all night just watching, that's kind of a fucked up situation in my opinion and I don't have a problem with a stripper asking a man to tip. In that specific case, where a guy is all eyeballs and drool and won't give up a buck. C'mon dude. The deal with strip clubs is that if you're going there to see some titties and you like what you're seeing then you should tip the naked chick a couple bucks. That seems logical to me. Just my two cents. I mean this is really what a strip club should be... go see a couple milk rockets and tip a couple bucks. Don't stiff the chick because you're a tight-ass. If you're a miser then go home and watch porn.
And yes, obviously we could talk forever about 100 ways that strippers don't fall into this specific circumstance and are total gold digging cunts. I just thought this one small area was worth noting because sometimes I do end up in a strip club and I think it's appropriate to tip a buck or two. However, I don't think it's appropriate to try and manipulate money out of me using other techniques that strippers use, which I'm about to expose next.
2. The Verbal Digger. The second type of gold digger is a women who verbally outright asks for money. She's not demanding money or just taking it from you like the Type 1 gold digger, but she's still verbally giving you an opportunity to give her money by asking you. The chick who texted me above asking me to support her "Coachella fun" falls into this category.
Why does she fall into this category? Well women who dig for gold like the fucking San Fransisco 49ers (which, for those of you who don't know, are the people who showed up too late for the gold rush of 1848) all have a specific pattern they follow when gold digging. The exchange has four simple steps, and when you can recognize them, you will never be taken advantage of again. So without further ado, here is how women get out their shovels and pickaxes:
1. Meet the guy
2. Present yourself as a sexual opportunity
3. Establish comfort
4. Ask for money
That's it. Simple.
Notice the whole Step 4 thing...lol. The underlying theme here is that by presenting herself as a sexual opportunity then asking for money, she is sub-communicating that if the man meets her needs for money, then she will meet his needs for sex. Again, this is called a covert contract, and women use these covert contracts to extort money from men. Obviously they seldom end up actually having sex as a result.
Let's again go back to the example of the woman above so we can see how this woman specifically creates the opportunity for me to engage in a covert contract with her. First she creates a problem...
"I really want to go and have a good time, but planning this has been stressful"
Next she goes into establishing some (fake) comfort with me by talking about what i'm doing, etc. People who are comfortable with others tend not to want to create or engage in conflict with them, especially nice guys, who avoid conflict like the plague. So establishing comfort like this serves to create a situation where I would be less likely to want to create or engage in conflict with the woman.
After comfort with me, I ask her if she's going to go without tickets. Notice her response. She says "I'll buy one when I get there, somehow." Awww, she's so sad! And she's got great gold-digging confidence in herself too. She seems to know that she'll be able to pull off a "dig" when she gets there.
And how can I relieve her sadness and stress and allow her to "go and have a good time" like she so desperately wants??? You guessed it! by "donating to my coachella fund" because "things are tough and I'm tryna have fun." How harmless.... right ?!? Fuck this happy horse shit.
And if you're still not convinced (for some crazy reason) that this is gold digging, notice that she never really even expressed that she wants me to go with her for any reason! She asked if I was going and established some quick bullshit comfort with me, but she has no vested interest in who I am as a person. She doesn't want my company, she simply wants money from me. In other words, she's new at this or she commonly digs from really dumb guys.
A big sign that a woman is a gold digger is when she demonstrates lack of genuine interest in spending time with you and who you are as a person.
Gold diggers across the board don't give two shits about who you are and about the healthy things you can offer them, they care only about establishing enough fake comfort with you that you'll give up money in exchange for the fake promise of sex they're so shallowly offering. You are a source of money to them, nothing more.
Are you beginning to understand more now why I hold women like this in such low esteem? I certainly hope so. So let's move on to the last and probably smoothest type of gold digger, the silent type.
3. The Quiet Digger. The quiet gold digger uses the same manipulation technique as the Verbal Digger above, but she simply does so quietly. A quiet gold digger is the woman who simply waits when the check comes out, looks at you after the bartender tells her it's $10 for her drink, waits in her car while and after you pump her gas, or just lets you pay the hotel bill.
What's the technique of a quiet gold digger? Just don't pay attention. Quiet diggers wait until the situation is awkward for the man because they know that their lack of offering to help pay for something is demonstrating that they don't want to. When a woman doesn't offer to help a man pay for something, women know that he has to create some type of conflict to get the woman to pay. He has to speak up and ask for the woman to chip in, and he has to do so at the risk of looking cheap or not conforming to societal norms (men should pay for drinks and dinners). Hell, the woman could get mad at him! Oh heavens, no!!! Then what would he do??? After all, he's a nice guy and he wants to avoid conflict, so maybe it's just easier for him to pay in hopes of getting some sex from her later. After all, if the girl gets mad at him she'll never have sex with him, right???
The reality that nice guys have not experienced yet is one where a man stands up to a mad woman. Yes, there are men who fight, and fight well. It's easier than you think, and I describe this process in detail in my book Flawless Texting. The very second I gained the courage to stand up to women and have healthy conflicts was the very second I began having a fantastic sex life. There are men who break out of the chains of being a nice guy, and I'm happy to be one of them. It's my hope that you can be too.
The last thing I wanna talk about today is how to sidestep the whole process of a woman trying to dig green out of your pockets altogether. Setup boundaries with the women you interact with. Stand up to women who believe it's okay to take from you under the guise of social norm and etiquette. Remember, as a man it's necessary to engage in small conflicts with women. This is what successful, happy men do.
Successful men engage in conflict because they know that it will not cost them the sex that they desire. It will instead give them exactly that. Successful men know that engaging in conflict is healthy and they welcome healthy conflict for that reason.
So how does a man portray that he's not a target? The first step is to become educated, just like you've done by reading this article as far as you have. If you're aware of the process women use to dig gold from you then you're better equipped to recognize it and stop it before it happens.
If you get a verbal digger like I had today, tell her she's crazy like I did and cut off contact with her. This is a scenario where I smelled the digging a mile away when we first met and this time sealed her fate, but normally with diggers I have a zero tolerance policy. If she's a digger, it's very difficult if not impossible to change how she acts. Your only defense is to change how you handle her. If she wants to hang around you then she will not dig, period. And don't budge on that. If you're not capable of that attitude with her, don't hang around her.
If you've got a quiet digger, like when a girl looks at you to pay when the bartender tells her how much her drink is, it's time to change the situation from quiet to not quiet by verbally expressing that you're not comfortable with the situation. This does not make you a dick it makes you assertive. Remember, I'm talking about women you judge to have malicious intent.
If I sense that a woman has malicious intent (i.e. wants a free drink and gives zero fucks about me) I'll openly tell her something like "What? You expect me to pay for that shit? uh uh" (while shaking my head). Or I could say several other things, like "I don't know you that well yet" or "Do I look like the drink-buyer guy or something?" or "Shiiiiit, you should be buying me a drink!" or "Where I come from the women buy the men drinks." Any of these should start the conflict well and let the girl know that you're not a pushover.
Now obviously I could go on and on about this subject all day, but the point of all this is to be aware of gold diggers and stick up for yourself at the very second that you encounter one.
You do not have a better shot at having sex with a woman just because you buy something for her.
There are a lot of AMAZING women out there! And for the record, sometimes I will buy drinks, dinners, and even gifts for a woman who I view as amazing and who I know would readily do the same for me. The woman I buy something for is appreciative and wants to invest her time with me and get to know me for who I am. She knows I'm not a pushover, and she knows where my boundaries lie.
So guys, it's been a long blog post today from me and I hope you've enjoyed it. I've exposed a real life gold digger who I encountered today, we talked about the three types of gold diggers, and I've even given you a few tips and tricks to deal with a gold digger when you encounter one. So hopefully the next time a woman wants you to donate to her "Coachella fund" so she can "tryna have a good time," you'll have the courage and conviction to tell her she's crazy like I did. Let her find other less educated, less in-control men to prey upon. She knows they're out there, just like the gold digger today did when she texted me "shut up, lol." She knows there are more men out there who are going to fall for her ploys, so let her go find them and don't be fooled. There's a sucker born every minute...
Did you enjoy this? Have you been suckered in the past? Comment below and tell me and others about it! I'd love to hear your stories. And as always if you need some help digging yourself out of some trouble with a girl, I'm here to help. Simply shoot me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'd be happy to jump on the phone with you and chat or meet you in person to work on your particular girl or situation. You can find more information on this topic by viewing my website and purchasing my book Flawless Texting. Visit my website and grab yourself a copy today. Thanks for reading.